to one of the vegetable dishes. The old girl has her two nieces home for the holidays--devilish handsome, larky girls--so we have determined to take some mistletoe, and give a practical demonstration of the action of the _orbicularis oris_ and _ievatores labi\'ca superioris et inferioris_. If either of them have got any tin, I shall try and get all right with them; but if the brads don't flourish I shall leave it alone, for a wife is just the worst piece of furniture a fellow can bring into his house, especially if he inclines to conviviality; although to be sure a medical man ought to consider her as part of his stock in trade, to be taken at a fair valuation amidst his stopple-bottles, mortars, measures, and pill-rollers. If business does not tumble in well, in the course of a few weeks, we have another plan in view; but I only wish to resort to it on emergency, in case we should be found out. The railway passes at the bottom of my garden, and Jack thinks, with a few pieces of board, he can contrive to run the engine and tender off the line, which is upon a tolerably high embankment. I need not tell you all this is in strict confidence; and if the plan does not jib, which is not very probable, will bring lots of grist to the mill. I have put the engineer and stoker at a sure guinea a head for the inquest; and the concussions in the second class will be of unknown value. If practicable, I mean to have an elderly gentleman "who must not be moved under any consideration;" so I shall get him into my house for the term of his indisposition, which may possibly be a very long one. I can give him up my own bedroom, and sleep myself in an old harpsichord, which I bought cheap at a sale, and disembowelled into a species of deceptive bed. I think the hint might put "people about to marry" up to a dodge in the way of spare beds. Everybody now sees through the old chiffonier and wardrobe turn-up impositions, but the grand piano would beat them; only it should be kept locked, for fear any one given to harmony might commence playing a fantasia on the bolster. Our parishioners have very little idea of the Cider-cellars and Coal-hole, both of which places they take in their literal sense. I think that, with Jack's assistance, we can establish something of the kind at the Swan, which is the principal inn. Should it not succeed, I shall turn my attention to getting up a literary and scientific institution, and give a lecture. I have not yet settled on what subject, but Jack votes for Astronomy, for two reasons: firstly, because the room is dark nearly all the time; and secondly, because you can smug in some pots of half-and-half behind the transparent orrery. He says the dissolving views in London put him up to the value of a dark exhibition. We also think we can manage a concert, which will he sure of a good attendance if we say it is for some parish charity. Jack has volunteered a solo on the cornet-\'87-piston: he has never tried the instrument, but he says he is sure he can play it, as it looks remarkably easy hanging up in the windows of the music-shops. He thinks one might drill the children and get up the Macbeth music. It is turning very cold to-night, and I think will turn to a frost. Jack has thrown some water on the pavement before my door; and should it freeze, I have given strict orders to my old housekeeper not to strew any ashes, or sand, or sawdust, or any similar rubbish about. People's bones are very brittle in frosty weather, and this may bring a job. I hope it will. If, in your London rambles, as you seem to be everywhere at once, you pitch upon Manhug, Rapp, or Jones, give my love to them, and tell them to keep their powder dry, and not to think of practising in the country, which is after all a species of social suicide. And with the best compliments of the season to yourself, and "through the medium of the columns of your valuable journal" to your readers, believe me to remain, My dear old bean, Yours very considerably, JOSEPH MUFF. * * * * * THE SECRET SORROW. Oh! let me from the festive board To thee, my mother, flee; And be my secret sorrow shared By thee--by only thee! In vain they spread the glitt'ring store, The rich repast, in vain; Let others seek enjoyment there, To me 'tis only pain. There _was_ a word of kind advice-- A whisper, soft and low; But oh! that _one_ resistless smile! Alas! why was it so? No blame, no blame, my mother dear, Do I impute to _you_. But since I ate that currant tart I don't know what to do! * * * * * [Illustration] PUNCH'S POSTSCRIPT. MR. AUGUSTUS SWIVEL, (_Professor of the Drum and Mouth-organ, and Stage-Manager to_ PUNCH'S _Theatre_,) LOQUITUR. [Illustration: P]PATRONS OF "PUNCH,"--LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,-- We has dropped the curtain and rowled up the baize on the first half-annivel performance of "PUNCH." The pleasing task now dewolves upon me, on behoof of the Lessee and the whole strength off the Puppets, to come forrard and acknowledge the liberal showers of applause and 'apence what a generous and enlightened British public has powered upon the performances and pitched into our goss. Steamilated by this St. Swiffin's of success, the Lessee fearlessly launches his bark upon the high road of public favor, and enters his Theaytre for the grand steeple-chase of general approbation. Ourn hasn't been a bed of roses. We've had our rivals and our troubles. We came out as a great hint, and everybody took us. First and foremost, the great Juggeler in Printing-house Square, walks in like the Sheriff and takes our comic effects. Then the Black Doctor, as blowed the bellows to the late ministerial organ, starts a fantoccini and collars our dialect. Then, the unhappy wight what acts as dry-nuss to his _Grandmother_, finding his writing on the pavement with red and white chalk and sentiment, won't friz,--gives over appealing to the sympathies, kidnaps our comic offspring, and (as our brother dramatist Muster Sheridan says) disfigures 'em to make 'em look like his own. Then, the whole biling of our other hoppositioners who puts their shoulders together, to "hoist up a donkey," tries to ornament their werry wulgar exhibitions with our vitticisms. Now this was cruel, deceitful condick on the part of the juggeler,--a side wind blow from the organ,--didn't show much of the milk of human kindness with the chalk; and as for the ass,--but no,--brotherly love is our weakness, and we throws a veil over the donkey. During the recess the exterior of the Theaytre will be re-decorated by Muster Phiz; and the first artists in pen, ink, black-lead, and box-wood, has been secured to see if any improvements _can_ be made in the interior. I have the honor to inform you that we shall commence our next campaign on January 1, 1842, with renewed henergy, all the old-established wooden heads, and several new hands. And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of "PUNCH," the Puppets, the Properrieters, and the Orchestra (which is myself), I most respectfully touches my hat, and wishes you all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. _Au rewoir_. [Illustration] * * * * * INDEX. [Illustration: A] A Barrister's Card, 33 A Bitter Draught--Jonathanisms, 47 A Bower of Bliss in Stangate, 120 A Barrowknight, 226 A Card, 106 A Chapter on Politics, 216 A Classical Inscription for a Cigar-case, 29 A Chapter on Boots, 16 A Con., 15, 23, 29, 48, 209, 221, 241, 252 A Constant Pair, 76 A Count and his Schneider, 76 A Curious Error, 155 A Cruel Disappointment, 81 Active Benevolence, 231 A Cut by Sir Peter, 273 A Dab for Laurie, 251 A Deer Bargain, 275 A Dictionary for the Ladies, 264 A Dose of Castor, 218 A Dress Rehearsal, 59 Advantages of Animal Magnetism, 47 Advantages of Style, 69 Advice Gratis, 74 A Familiar Epistle from John Stump, Esq., 237 A Fair Offer, 33 A Few more veritable Jonathans, 24 Affairs in China, 143 A Great Card, 143 A Hint for Politicians, 101 A Hint to the new Lord Chamberlain, 83 A Hint to the Ugly, 48 Alarming Destitution, 52 Alarming Prospects of the Country, 218 A Legend of the Tower (not London), 220 A Mail Due, 173 A Manual of D\'c8nouements, 145 A Matter of Course, 83 A Matter of Taste, 52 A Mayor's Nest, 184 A Meeting of Old Acquaintances, 252 A Mesmeric Advertisement, 122 A Moving Scene, 35 A Modern Method of forming a New Budget, 13 An Alligator Chairman, 10 An Alarming Strike, 122 An-Tea Anacreontic, 4, 13, 40, 53 An Atrocious Pun, 98 An Appropriate Name, 97 An Advertisement, 85 A Natural Deduction, 37 A Natural Inference, 52 An Appropriate Gift, 173 An Acute Angle, 73 An Extract from the Spectator, 202 An Extensive Sacrifice, 129 An Exclusive Appointment, 87 A New Theory of Pockets, 113 A New Milky Way, 228 A New Conjuring Company, 129 A New Version of Belshazzar's Feast, 66 A New Wine, 257 An Imminent Breach, 82 An Inquiry from Deaf Burke, Esq., 58 Animal Magnetism, 28 An important Discovery, 64 Announcement Extraordinary, 274 An Ode picked up in the Divan, 11 A Novel Entertainment, 110 An Undivided Moiety, 205 A Party of Medallers, 15 A Pair of Ducks, 179 A Pair of Fools, 76 A P\'caan for Dan, 208 A Perfect Vacuum Proved, 252 A Pleasant Assurance, 149 A Private Box, 93 A Pro and Con, 101 A Prudent Change, 34 A Prudent Reason, 125 A Public Convenience, 6 A "Punch" Testimonial, 227 A Pun from the Row, 83 A Quarter-day Cogitation, 5 "Are ye sure the News is True?" 218 Artistic Execution, 83 Arrived at Last, 173 "A Ring! a Ring!!" 145 American Congress, 172 A Royal Duck, 134 A Scandalous Report, 194 A Short Treatise of Dramatic Casualties, 131 A Singular Inadvertence, 90 A Slap at John Chinaman's Chops, 180 A Slight Contrast, 256 A Spoke in Stanley's Wheel, 52 A Spoon Case, 251 Assertion of the Unintelligible, 111 A Strong Resemblance, 34 A Suggestion, 182 A Thing unfit to a(p)pear, 64 A Thorough Draught, 207 A Try-Angle, 170 A Trifle from Little Tommy, 81 Awful Accident, 69, 81 A Wood-cut, 23 Authentic, 40 A Voice from the Area, 100 [Illustration: B] Bad either Way, 76 Ballads of the Briefless, 273 Barber-ous Announcement, 228 Bartholomew Fair Show-Folks, 88 Beginning Early, 75 Bernard Cavanagh, 124 Birth of the Prince of Wales, 205 Black and White, 52 "Blow Gentle Breeze," 193 Brandy and Waterford (a Go!), 226 Breach of Privilege, 29 Buffoon's Natural History, 256 Bunks's Discoveries in the Thames, 129 Burke's Heraldry, 182 [Illustration: C] Calumny Refuted, 52 Capital Illustration, 88 Cause and Effect, 202, 238 Caution to Gourmands, 81 Caution to Sportsmen, 97 Certainly not,--"Better Late than Never," 255 Characteristic Correspondence, 17 Charles Kean's "Cheek", 53 Chaunt to Old Father Time, 23 Chelsea, 71 Christianity.--Price Fifteen Shillings, 150 Civilization, 27 Clar' de Kitchen, 15 Comic Credentials, 40 Coming Events cast their Shadows before, 177 Commentary on the Elections, 9 Commercial Intelligence, 1 Cons.--A Query, 54 Cons, by O'Connell, 167 Con. by Theodore Hook, 81 Cons. by Our Own Colonel, 155 Conundrums by Col. Sibthorp, 21 Con. by Sibthorp and Stultz, 245 Con. by an X M.P., 29 Cons, worth Conning, 227 Conundrum by the Lord Mayor, 216 Concerts d'Et\'c8, 96 Condensed Parliamentary Report, 133 Continuations from China, 157 Conversation between Two Hackney-coach Horses, 5 Coombe's Lungs and Learning, 161 Correspondence, 35 Correspondence Extraordinary, 61 Coventry's Wise Precaution, 157 Court Circular, 5, 13 Crimes of Eating, 250 Cross Readings, 23 Cupid's Bow, 255 Curious Ambiguity, 144 Curious Coincidence, 65, 87 Curious Synonymes, 173 Curiosity Hunters, 137 Custom-House Sale, 145 Cutting at the Root of the Evil, 218 Cutting it rather Short, 251 [Illustration: D] Decidedly Unpleasant, 87 Devilled Drumsticks, 226 Dialogue. George Canning and Sir Robert Peel, 111 Diary of a Lord Mayor, 26 Discovery of Valuable Jewels, 238 Distress of the Country, 215 Doctor Peel taking time to Consult, 126 Doing the State some Service, 206 Domestic Economy, 183 Done again, 110 Draw it Gently, 255 Dyer Ignorance, 135 [Illustration: E] Eccentricities of the Minor Drama, 137 Ecclesiastical Transportation, 21 Elegant Phrases, 261 Eligible Investments! 209 Encouragement of Native Talent, 114 Enjoyment, 108 English and American Produce, 61 Epigrams, 14, 21, 24, 61, 89, 97, 173, 198 Epitaph on a Candle, 172 Errata in the "Times," 141 Exclusive Interference, 28 Express from America, 185 Express from Windsor, 134 Extra Fashionable News, 90 Extraordinary Assize Intelligence, 52 Extraordinary Operation, 52 [Illustration: F] False Alarm, 206 Fancied Fair, 95 Fashions, 83, 257, 270 Fashionable Arrivals, 21, 74 Fashionable Intelligence, 47, 130, 205, 221, 232, 257 Fashionable Movements, 255 Fearful State of London, 99 Fine Arts, 9, 33, 108, 112 Fine Arts External Exhibitions, 65 Fire! Fire! 173 Fire at the Adelphi Theatre, 249 Fish Sauce, 118 Foreign Affairs, 42, 95 French Living, 232 From the London Gazette, Nov. 16, 232 [Illustration: G] Galvanism Outdone, 101 General Satisfaction, 85 Geology of Society, 157 "Go along, Bob," 155 Grant's Meditations among the Coffee-cup, 263 Gravesend--from our own Correspondent, 121 Great Annual Michaelmas Jubilee, 135 [Illustration: H] (H)all is lost now! 123 "Habit is second Nature," 147 Hamlet's Soliloquy by a XX Teetotaller, 190 Happy Land, 173 Hard and Fast, 203 Hard to Remember, 209 _Harmer Virumque Cano_, 215 Heavy Lightness, 83 High Life Below Stairs, 134 Hints on Popping the Question, 233 Hints to New Members, 82 Hints on Melo-dramatic Music, 17 Hints how to enjoy an Omnibus, 250 His Turn now, 237 Hitting the Right Nail on the Head, 52 Hostilities in Private Life, 178 Humane Suggestion, 111 Hume's Terminology, 1 Hume's Day-school, 11 Hume _Leeds_--Wakley Follows, 180 Humfery Cheat-'em, 45 [Illustration: I] "I Do Adjure you, Answer me!" 154 If I had a Thousand a Year, 63 Imperial Parliament--The Queen's Speech, 78 Important News from China, 74 Important Intelligence, 269 Important Invention, 130 Inauguration of the Image of Shakspere, 106 Injured Innocence, 54 Inquest, 41 Inquest Extraordinary, 87 Inquest Extraordinary on a Coroner, 155 Inquest--not Extraordinary, 78 Irish Intelligence.--Awful State of the Country, 220 Irish Particular, 52 It was before I married, 57 [Illustration: J] Jocky Jason, 57 Joe Hume's Forthcoming Work, 221 Joe Hum(e)anity, 123 Jonathans, 24, 37 [Illustration: K] Keeping it dark, 189 Kidnapping Extraordinary, 179 Kings and Carpenters, 234 [Illustration: L] Labours of the British Association, 57 Labours of the Session, 159 Lady Morgan's Little One, 49 Lam(b)entations, 71 Land Sharks and Sea Gulls, 142 Last New Sayings, 191 Laurie's Raillery, 252 Laurie's Essay on the Pharmacopoeia, 168 Laurie on Geography, 161 Lays of the "Beau Monde," 141 Lays of the Lazy, 70 Legal Pugilism, 41 Lessons in Punmanship, 2 Letter of Introduction, 90 Like Master Like Man, 154 Lines on Miss Adelaide Kemble, 255 Looking on the Black Side of Things, 99 List of Outrages, 142 Literary Queries and Replies, 24 Lord Melbourne's Letter-beg, 70 Lord Johnny Licking the Birse, 54 Love and Hymen, 244 Loyalty and Insanity, 258 Linen-drapers of Ludgate, 166 List of the Premiums at the H.S. Soc., 189 Literary Recipes, 39 [Illustration: M] Madame Tussaud's, 96 Magisterial Axioms, 226 Major Beniowsky's New Art of Memory, 149 Making a Composition with one's Ancestors, 135 Marriage and Christening Extraordinary, 22 Matin\'c8e Mesmerique, 123 Matrimonial Agency, 59 Maternal Solicitude, 70 "Matters in Fact" and "Matters in Law," 59 Metropolitan Improvements, 141 Michaelmas Day, 142 Modern Wat Tylers, 26 Molar and Incisor, 136 Monsieur Jullien, 15 More Ways than One, &c., 15 Morbid Sympathy for Criminals, 227 More Sketches of London Life, 231 More Fashionable Intelligence, 227 Mr. Punch, Artist in Philosophy and Fireworks, 202 Musical News (Noose), 243 "My Name's the Doctor," 40 Myself, Punch, and the Keeleys, 217 [Illustration: N] Napoleon's Statue at Boulogne, 81 National Distress, 251 Native Swallows, 1 Narrative of an Awful Case of Extreme Distress, 77 New Code of Signals, 57 News for the Syncretics, 101 New Parliamentary Returns, 83 New Annuals and Republications, 238 News of Extraordinary Interest, 15 New Swimming Apparatus, 99 New Works now in the Press, 171 New Stuffing for the Speaker's Chair, 41 Nigger Peculiarities, 184 Nobody Cares and Nobody Nose, 250 Nothing Wonderful, 26 Nothing New, 159 "Not Exactly," 256 Not a Step Fa(r)ther, 173 Nouveau Manuel du Voyageur, 28 Novel Experiment--Great Screw, 82 Novel Subscriptions, 123 Nursery Education Report, 54 Nursery Education Report--No. 2, 62 [Illustration: O] Official Report of the Fire at the Tower, 241 Oh! Day and Night! 132 Oh! Gemini! 228 Old Bailey, 41 Ominous, 22 "One Good Turn deserves Another," 218 On Dits of the Clubs, 53 On Snuff, and the Different Ways of _Taking_ it, 256 On the Introduction of Pantomime into the English Language, 10 On Sir E.L. Bulwer, Bart., 28 On the Science of Electioneering, 110 On the Key-Vive, 191 On the Popularity of Mr. Ch--s K--n, 48 Our City Article, 39, 245 Our Foreign Relations, 118 Our Trade Report, 189 Our Weathercock, 241 Out of School, 275 Out of Season, 98 [Illustration: P] Parliamentary Intentions, 90 Parliamentary Masons--Parliamentary Pictures, 162 Peel's Pre-existence, 198 Peel "regularly called in," 102 Pen and Palette Portraits, 262, 274 Peter the Great (Fool?), 250 Philanthropy, Fine Writing, and Fireworks, 77 Physiology of the Lond. Med. Student, 142, 154, 165, 177, 185, 201, 213, 225, 229, 244, 253, 265 Pictorial History of Parliament, 174 Pleasures of Hope (rather expensive), 83 Please to remember the Fifth of November, 195 Poached Egotism, 143 Poetry on an Improved Principle, 25 Political Naturalist's Library, 143 Political Euclid, 149, 166 Politics of the Outward Man, 186 Political Intelligence, 264 Poor Jack, 158 Poor John Bull, 34 Popish Red-dress, 251 "'Possum up a Gum Tree," 205 Pray don't tell the Governor, 28 Present Crops Abroad, 82 Private, 13 Proper Precaution, 222 Prospectus for a Provident Annuity Company, 81 Prospectus for a New Hand-book of Jesters, 238 Prospectus of a New Grand Railroad Accident and Partial Mutilation Provident Society, 159 Private Correspondence, 155 Providing for Evil Days, 107 Promenade Concerts, 168 Public Affairs on Phrenological Principles, 57 Punch and Peel, 18 Punch and Peel--the New Cabinet, 30 Punch and Sir John Pollen, 45 Punch and the Swiss Giantess, 245 Punchlied--Song for Punch Drinkers, 268 Punch's Catechism of Geography, 214 Punch's Commission to Inquire into the General Distress, 170 Punch's Correspondence, 17 Punch's Extra Dramatic Intelligence, 69 Punch's Essence of Guffaw, 122 Punch's Guide to the Watering Places--Brighton, 145 Punch's Histrionic Readings in History--England, 136 Punch's Information, 41, 58, 82, 119, 179, 261 Punch's Lecture on Morality, 119 Punch's Letter-Writer, 255 Punch's Literature, 86 Punch's Literary Intelligence, 276 Punch's New General Letter-Writer, 160 Punch's P\'caan to the Princelet, 209 Punch's Political Economy, 191 Punch's Random Recoll. of the House of Lords, 52 Punch's Review: Madame Laffarge, 189 Punch's Stomachology, Lecture I., 232 PUNCH'S THEATRE, 12, 24, 36, 48, 60, 72, 84, 95, 107, 113, 131, 132, 144, 156, 167, 180, 192, 203, 204, 216, 239, 240, 252, 264, 276 [Illustration: Q] Q.E.D., 133 Qualifications for an M.P., 12 Queer Queries, 269 Questions by the Disowned of Nottingham, 23 [Illustration: R] Rather Ominous, 83 Rather Suicidal, 82 Reasons Ne Plus Ultra, 76, 97 Recollections of a Trip in Mr. Hampton's Balloon, 99 Railway Accidents, Prevention of, 165 Reconciling a Difference, 241 Recreation for the Public, 130 Reform your Lawyer's Bills, 197 Regularly Called in and Bowled out, 225 Rejected Address of the Melancholy Whigs, 54 Relative Gentility, 189 Revenge is Sweet, 23 Review, 23 "Rob me the Exchequer, Hal," 194 Roebuck defying the "Thunderer," 134 Romance of a Teacup, 221, 233, 245 Root and Branch, 142 Royal Nursery Education Report, No. 3, 105 Rumball the Comedian, 41 [Illustration: S] Sayings and Doings in the Royal Nursery, 2 Savory Con. by Cox, 178 Schools of Design, 83, 159 Seeing Nothing, 226 Shall Great Olympus to a Molehill Stoop? 89 Shocking want of Sympathy, 29 Should this meet the Eye, 203 Sibthorpiana, 144 Sibthorp's Corner, 233, 251, 267 Sibthorp on Borthwick, 172 Sibthorp on the Corn Laws, 118 Sibthorp's Very Best, 75 Sibthorpian Problems, 180 Signs of the Times, 253 Sir Francis Burdett's Visit to the Tower, 197 Sir Peter Laurie, 210 Sir Robert Peel and the Queen, 93 Sir Robert Peel (Loquitur), 155 "Slumber, my Darling," 237 Some things to which the Irish would not swear, 177 Something Warlike, 1 So much for Buckingham, 159 Songs for Catarrhs, 205 Songs for the Sentimental, 6, 22, 37, 49, 81, 85, 123, 143, 149, 202, 233, 252, 262, 267 Songs of the Seedy, 93, 155, 167, 179, 184, 251 Soup, \'87 la Julien, 264 Spanish Politics, 167 Sparks from the Fire--All is not Lost, 214 Speech from the Hustings, 24 Sporting--the Knocker Hunt, 14 Sporting Face, 145 Sporting in Downing-street, 69 Starvation Statistics for Sir Robert Peel, 267 Stenotypography, 15 Street Politics--Punch and his Stage-Manager, 6 "Stupid as a Post," 241 Supreme Court of the High Inquisitor Punch, 40, 69 Surrey Zoological Gardens, 109 "Syllables which breathe of the Sweet South," 22 Syncretic Literature, 100, 112, 124 Synopsis of Voting according to Cant, 3 Sweet Autumn Days, 153 [Illustration: T] Taking the Hodds, 133 Taking a Sight at the Fire, 220 Theatrical Intelligence, 107 TALES, SKETCHES, &c. A Day-Dream at my Uncle's, 193 A Rail-Road Novel, 2 Father O'Flynn and his Congregation, 125 My Uncle Bucket, 64 My Friend Tom, 101 Say it was "me," 148 "Take Care of Him," 268 The Barber of Stocksbawler, 161 The Currah Cut, 76 The Gold Snuff-box, 183 The Great Creature, 169 The Heir of Applebite, 73, 89, 97, 109, 121, 146, 171, 182, 194, 206, 219 The Man of Habit, 191 The Omen Outwitted, 117 The Professional Singer, 4 The Puff Papers, 230, 242, 254, 266 Tom Connor's Dilemma, 153 The Sailor's Secret, 22 The Tiptoes, 133 The Wife Catchers, 34, 37, 49, 61 Theatre-Royal Drury Lane, 47 The Above-bridge Navy, 35 The Amende Honorable, 107 The Bane and Antidote, 241 The Beauty of Brass, 111 The Boy Jones's Log, 46 The Broth of a Boy, 269 The Battle and the Breeze, 130 The Corn Laws and Christianity, 114 The Cheroot, 273 The Copper Captain, 267 The Corsair; a Poem to be read on Railroads, 241 The Dinnerology of England, 78 The Destruction of the Aldermen, 215 The Desire of Pleasing, 181 The Election of Ballinafad, 21 The Entire Animal, 12 The Explosive Box, 28 The Evil most to be Dreaded, 143 The Fastest Man, 267 The Fasting Phenomenon, 130 "The force of Fancy could no further go," 216 The F\'cdtes for the Polish, 249 The Fire at the Tower, 195 The Gent's Own Book, 63, 75, 85, 98, 147, 190, 207 The Great Cricket Match at St. Stephen's, 87 The Golden-square Revolution, 99 The Geology of Society, 178 The High-road to Gentility, 257 The Knatchbull Testimonial, 243 The late Promotions, 264 The Legal Eccalobeion, 52 The Lord Mayor's Fool, 214 The Lord Mayors and the Queen, 202 The Loves of the Plants, 26 The Lost Med. Papers of the British Assoc., 94 The Limerick Mares, 231 The Lambeth Demosthenes, 219 The Light of all Nations, 130 The Minto House Manifesto, 45 The Ministerial TOP, 123 The Mansion-house Parrot, 58 The Money Market, 69 The Moral of Punch, 1 The Male Dalilah, 227 The Masons and the Stone Jug, 216 The Ministry's Ode to the Passions, 93 The New Doctor's System, 132 The Normandie "No-go," 29 The New Administration, 100 The New House, 29 The New State Stretcher, 173 The O'Connell Papers, 208 The Prince of Wales, 226 The Packed Jury, 87 The Pensive Peel, 183 The Prince of Wales--his Future Times, 222 The Prince's Extra, 216 The Rival Candidates, 196 The Rape of the Lock-up, 228 The Royal Bulletins, 226 The Rich Old Buffer, 77 The Rising Sun, 17 The Royal Lion and Unicorn--a Dialogue, 50 The Statistical Society, 110 The School of Design at Hookham-cum-Snivey, 269 The Star System, 231 The Speakership, 58 The Two Fatal Chiropedists, 89 The Two Macbeths, or the Haymarket Gemini, 47 The Tory Peacocks and the Finsbury Daw, 139 The Tory Table d'H\'d9te, 52 The Thorny Premier, 144 The Tea-service on Sea-service, 170 The Two New Equity Judges, 202 The Two last Important Sittings, 180 The Unkindest Cut of All, 221 The very "next" Jonathan, 157 The Value of Stocks--Last Quotation, 166 The Wheels of Fortune, 226 The Wise Man of the East, 250 The "Well-dressed" and the "Well-to-do," 138 The War with China, 168 The "Weight" of Royalty--the Social "Scale," 270 The Wapping Deluge, 178 The Whigs' last Dying Speech, 66 Those Diving Belles! those Diving Belles! 158 To the Laughter-loving Public, 23 "Try our best Sympathy," 190 To bad Jokers, 40 To benevolent and humane Jokers, 168 To Fancy Builders and Capitalists, 38 To Mr. Green, the Inspector of Highways, 74 To Professors of Languages who give Long Credit, 144 To Punsters and others, 274 To Sir Rhubarb Pill, M.P. and M.D., 123 To Sir F--s B--t, 39 To Sir Robert, 149 To the Black-balled of the United Service, 9 Transactions of the Soc. of Hookham-cum-Snivey, 141 Transactions and Yearly Report of do., 105, 118 Tremendous Failure, 207 [Illustration: U] University of London, 51 Vocal Evasion, 83 Verses on Miss Chaplin, 238 "Very Like a Whale," 173 [Illustration: W] War to the Nail, 136 Waterford Election, 29 W(h)at Tyler, 122 What, ho! Apothecary, 23 "When Vulcan Forged," &c., 197 Whig-Waggeries, 13 Who are to be the Lords in Waiting, 99 Wit without Money, 38, 71 [Transcriber's Note: This table converts Page Number to Issue Date] ------------------------------------------------------------------ | Page Issue | Page Issue | |---------------------------------|--------------------------------| | 1- 12 July 17, 1841 | 145-156 October 9, 1841 | | 13- 24 July 24, 1841 | 157-168 October 16, 1841 | | 25- 36 July 31, 1841 | 169-180 October 23, 1841 | | 37- 48 August 7, 1841 | 181-192 October 30, 1841 | | 49- 60 August 14, 1841 | 193-204 November 6, 1841 | | 61- 72 August 21, 1841 | 205-216 November 13, 1841 | | 73- 84 August 28, 1841 | 217-228 November 20, 1841 | | 85- 96 September 5, 1841 | 229-240 November 27, 1841 | | 97-108 September 12, 1841 | 241-252 December 4, 1841 | | 108-120 September 18, 1841 | 253-264 December 11, 1841 | | 121-132 September 25, 1841 | 265-276 December 18, 1841 | | 133-144 October 2, 1841 | 277-280 December 25, 1841 | ------------------------------------------------------------------ END OF THE FIRST VOLUME. 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The old girl has her two nieces home for the holidays--devilish handsome, larky girls--so we have determined...all »to one of the vegetable dishes. The old girl has her two nieces home for the holidays--devilish handsome, larky girls--so we have determined to take some mistletoe, and give a practical demonstration of the action of the _orbicularis oris_ and _ievatores labi\'ca superioris et inferioris_. If either of them have got any tin, I shall try and get all right with them; but if the brads don't flourish I shall leave it alone, for a wife is just the worst piece of furniture a fellow can bring into his house, especially if he inclines to conviviality; although to be sure a medical man ought to consider her as part of his stock in trade, to be taken at a fair valuation amidst his stopple-bottles, mortars, measures, and pill-rollers. If business does not tumble in well, in the course of a few weeks, we have another plan in view; but I only wish to resort to it on emergency, in case we should be found out. The railway passes at the bottom of my garden, and Jack thinks, with a few pieces of board, he can contrive to run the engine and tender off the line, which is upon a tolerably high embankment. I need not tell you all this is in strict confidence; and if the plan does not jib, which is not very probable, will bring lots of grist to the mill. I have put the engineer and stoker at a sure guinea a head for the inquest; and the concussions in the second class will be of unknown value. If practicable, I mean to have an elderly gentleman "who must not be moved under any consideration;" so I shall get him into my house for the term of his indisposition, which may possibly be a very long one. I can give him up my own bedroom, and sleep myself in an old harpsichord, which I bought cheap at a sale, and disembowelled into a species of deceptive bed. I think the hint might put "people about to marry" up to a dodge in the way of spare beds. Everybody now sees through the old chiffonier and wardrobe turn-up impositions, but the grand piano would beat them; only it should be kept locked, for fear any one given to harmony might commence playing a fantasia on the bolster. Our parishioners have very little idea of the Cider-cellars and Coal-hole, both of which places they take in their literal sense. I think that, with Jack's assistance, we can establish something of the kind at the Swan, which is the principal inn. Should it not succeed, I shall turn my attention to getting up a literary and scientific institution, and give a lecture. I have not yet settled on what subject, but Jack votes for Astronomy, for two reasons: firstly, because the room is dark nearly all the time; and secondly, because you can smug in some pots of half-and-half behind the transparent orrery. He says the dissolving views in London put him up to the value of a dark exhibition. We also think we can manage a concert, which will he sure of a good attendance if we say it is for some parish charity. Jack has volunteered a solo on the cornet-\'87-piston: he has never tried the instrument, but he says he is sure he can play it, as it looks remarkably easy hanging up in the windows of the music-shops. He thinks one might drill the children and get up the Macbeth music. It is turning very cold to-night, and I think will turn to a frost. Jack has thrown some water on the pavement before my door; and should it freeze, I have given strict orders to my old housekeeper not to strew any ashes, or sand, or sawdust, or any similar rubbish about. People's bones are very brittle in frosty weather, and this may bring a job. I hope it will. If, in your London rambles, as you seem to be everywhere at once, you pitch upon Manhug, Rapp, or Jones, give my love to them, and tell them to keep their powder dry, and not to think of practising in the country, which is after all a species of social suicide. And with the best compliments of the season to yourself, and "through the medium of the columns of your valuable journal" to your readers, believe me to remain, My dear old bean, Yours very considerably, JOSEPH MUFF. * * * * * THE SECRET SORROW. Oh! let me from the festive board To thee, my mother, flee; And be my secret sorrow shared By thee--by only thee! In vain they spread the glitt'ring store, The rich repast, in vain; Let others seek enjoyment there, To me 'tis only pain. There _was_ a word of kind advice-- A whisper, soft and low; But oh! that _one_ resistless smile! Alas! why was it so? No blame, no blame, my mother dear, Do I impute to _you_. But since I ate that currant tart I don't know what to do! * * * * * [Illustration] PUNCH'S POSTSCRIPT. MR. AUGUSTUS SWIVEL, (_Professor of the Drum and Mouth-organ, and Stage-Manager to_ PUNCH'S _Theatre_,) LOQUITUR. [Illustration: P]PATRONS OF "PUNCH,"--LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,-- We has dropped the curtain and rowled up the baize on the first half-annivel performance of "PUNCH." The pleasing task now dewolves upon me, on behoof of the Lessee and the whole strength off the Puppets, to come forrard and acknowledge the liberal showers of applause and 'apence what a generous and enlightened British public has powered upon the performances and pitched into our goss. Steamilated by this St. Swiffin's of success, the Lessee fearlessly launches his bark upon the high road of public favor, and enters his Theaytre for the grand steeple-chase of general approbation. Ourn hasn't been a bed of roses. We've had our rivals and our troubles. We came out as a great hint, and everybody took us. First and foremost, the great Juggeler in Printing-house Square, walks in like the Sheriff and takes our comic effects. Then the Black Doctor, as blowed the bellows to the late ministerial organ, starts a fantoccini and collars our dialect. Then, the unhappy wight what acts as dry-nuss to his _Grandmother_, finding his writing on the pavement with red and white chalk and sentiment, won't friz,--gives over appealing to the sympathies, kidnaps our comic offspring, and (as our brother dramatist Muster Sheridan says) disfigures 'em to make 'em look like his own. Then, the whole biling of our other hoppositioners who puts their shoulders together, to "hoist up a donkey," tries to ornament their werry wulgar exhibitions with our vitticisms. Now this was cruel, deceitful condick on the part of the juggeler,--a side wind blow from the organ,--didn't show much of the milk of human kindness with the chalk; and as for the ass,--but no,--brotherly love is our weakness, and we throws a veil over the donkey. During the recess the exterior of the Theaytre will be re-decorated by Muster Phiz; and the first artists in pen, ink, black-lead, and box-wood, has been secured to see if any improvements _can_ be made in the interior. I have the honor to inform you that we shall commence our next campaign on January 1, 1842, with renewed henergy, all the old-established wooden heads, and several new hands. And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of "PUNCH," the Puppets, the Properrieters, and the Orchestra (which is myself), I most respectfully touches my hat, and wishes you all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. _Au rewoir_. [Illustration] * * * * * INDEX. [Illustration: A] A Barrister's Card, 33 A Bitter Draught--Jonathanisms, 47 A Bower of Bliss in Stangate, 120 A Barrowknight, 226 A Card, 106 A Chapter on Politics, 216 A Classical Inscription for a Cigar-case, 29 A Chapter on Boots, 16 A Con., 15, 23, 29, 48, 209, 221, 241, 252 A Constant Pair, 76 A Count and his Schneider, 76 A Curious Error, 155 A Cruel Disappointment, 81 Active Benevolence, 231 A Cut by Sir Peter, 273 A Dab for Laurie, 251 A Deer Bargain, 275 A Dictionary for the Ladies, 264 A Dose of Castor, 218 A Dress Rehearsal, 59 Advantages of Animal Magnetism, 47 Advantages of Style, 69 Advice Gratis, 74 A Familiar Epistle from John Stump, Esq., 237 A Fair Offer, 33 A Few more veritable Jonathans, 24 Affairs in China, 143 A Great Card, 143 A Hint for Politicians, 101 A Hint to the new Lord Chamberlain, 83 A Hint to the Ugly, 48 Alarming Destitution, 52 Alarming Prospects of the Country, 218 A Legend of the Tower (not London), 220 A Mail Due, 173 A Manual of D\'c8nouements, 145 A Matter of Course, 83 A Matter of Taste, 52 A Mayor's Nest, 184 A Meeting of Old Acquaintances, 252 A Mesmeric Advertisement, 122 A Moving Scene, 35 A Modern Method of forming a New Budget, 13 An Alligator Chairman, 10 An Alarming Strike, 122 An-Tea Anacreontic, 4, 13, 40, 53 An Atrocious Pun, 98 An Appropriate Name, 97 An Advertisement, 85 A Natural Deduction, 37 A Natural Inference, 52 An Appropriate Gift, 173 An Acute Angle, 73 An Extract from the Spectator, 202 An Extensive Sacrifice, 129 An Exclusive Appointment, 87 A New Theory of Pockets, 113 A New Milky Way, 228 A New Conjuring Company, 129 A New Version of Belshazzar's Feast, 66 A New Wine, 257 An Imminent Breach, 82 An Inquiry from Deaf Burke, Esq., 58 Animal Magnetism, 28 An important Discovery, 64 Announcement Extraordinary, 274 An Ode picked up in the Divan, 11 A Novel Entertainment, 110 An Undivided Moiety, 205 A Party of Medallers, 15 A Pair of Ducks, 179 A Pair of Fools, 76 A P\'caan for Dan, 208 A Perfect Vacuum Proved, 252 A Pleasant Assurance, 149 A Private Box, 93 A Pro and Con, 101 A Prudent Change, 34 A Prudent Reason, 125 A Public Convenience, 6 A "Punch" Testimonial, 227 A Pun from the Row, 83 A Quarter-day Cogitation, 5 "Are ye sure the News is True?" 218 Artistic Execution, 83 Arrived at Last, 173 "A Ring! a Ring!!" 145 American Congress, 172 A Royal Duck, 134 A Scandalous Report, 194 A Short Treatise of Dramatic Casualties, 131 A Singular Inadvertence, 90 A Slap at John Chinaman's Chops, 180 A Slight Contrast, 256 A Spoke in Stanley's Wheel, 52 A Spoon Case, 251 Assertion of the Unintelligible, 111 A Strong Resemblance, 34 A Suggestion, 182 A Thing unfit to a(p)pear, 64 A Thorough Draught, 207 A Try-Angle, 170 A Trifle from Little Tommy, 81 Awful Accident, 69, 81 A Wood-cut, 23 Authentic, 40 A Voice from the Area, 100 [Illustration: B] Bad either Way, 76 Ballads of the Briefless, 273 Barber-ous Announcement, 228 Bartholomew Fair Show-Folks, 88 Beginning Early, 75 Bernard Cavanagh, 124 Birth of the Prince of Wales, 205 Black and White, 52 "Blow Gentle Breeze," 193 Brandy and Waterford (a Go!), 226 Breach of Privilege, 29 Buffoon's Natural History, 256 Bunks's Discoveries in the Thames, 129 Burke's Heraldry, 182 [Illustration: C] Calumny Refuted, 52 Capital Illustration, 88 Cause and Effect, 202, 238 Caution to Gourmands, 81 Caution to Sportsmen, 97 Certainly not,--"Better Late than Never," 255 Characteristic Correspondence, 17 Charles Kean's "Cheek", 53 Chaunt to Old Father Time, 23 Chelsea, 71 Christianity.--Price Fifteen Shillings, 150 Civilization, 27 Clar' de Kitchen, 15 Comic Credentials, 40 Coming Events cast their Shadows before, 177 Commentary on the Elections, 9 Commercial Intelligence, 1 Cons.--A Query, 54 Cons, by O'Connell, 167 Con. by Theodore Hook, 81 Cons. by Our Own Colonel, 155 Conundrums by Col. Sibthorp, 21 Con. by Sibthorp and Stultz, 245 Con. by an X M.P., 29 Cons, worth Conning, 227 Conundrum by the Lord Mayor, 216 Concerts d'Et\'c8, 96 Condensed Parliamentary Report, 133 Continuations from China, 157 Conversation between Two Hackney-coach Horses, 5 Coombe's Lungs and Learning, 161 Correspondence, 35 Correspondence Extraordinary, 61 Coventry's Wise Precaution, 157 Court Circular, 5, 13 Crimes of Eating, 250 Cross Readings, 23 Cupid's Bow, 255 Curious Ambiguity, 144 Curious Coincidence, 65, 87 Curious Synonymes, 173 Curiosity Hunters, 137 Custom-House Sale, 145 Cutting at the Root of the Evil, 218 Cutting it rather Short, 251 [Illustration: D] Decidedly Unpleasant, 87 Devilled Drumsticks, 226 Dialogue. George Canning and Sir Robert Peel, 111 Diary of a Lord Mayor, 26 Discovery of Valuable Jewels, 238 Distress of the Country, 215 Doctor Peel taking time to Consult, 126 Doing the State some Service, 206 Domestic Economy, 183 Done again, 110 Draw it Gently, 255 Dyer Ignorance, 135 [Illustration: E] Eccentricities of the Minor Drama, 137 Ecclesiastical Transportation, 21 Elegant Phrases, 261 Eligible Investments! 209 Encouragement of Native Talent, 114 Enjoyment, 108 English and American Produce, 61 Epigrams, 14, 21, 24, 61, 89, 97, 173, 198 Epitaph on a Candle, 172 Errata in the "Times," 141 Exclusive Interference, 28 Express from America, 185 Express from Windsor, 134 Extra Fashionable News, 90 Extraordinary Assize Intelligence, 52 Extraordinary Operation, 52 [Illustration: F] False Alarm, 206 Fancied Fair, 95 Fashions, 83, 257, 270 Fashionable Arrivals, 21, 74 Fashionable Intelligence, 47, 130, 205, 221, 232, 257 Fashionable Movements, 255 Fearful State of London, 99 Fine Arts, 9, 33, 108, 112 Fine Arts External Exhibitions, 65 Fire! Fire! 173 Fire at the Adelphi Theatre, 249 Fish Sauce, 118 Foreign Affairs, 42, 95 French Living, 232 From the London Gazette, Nov. 16, 232 [Illustration: G] Galvanism Outdone, 101 General Satisfaction, 85 Geology of Society, 157 "Go along, Bob," 155 Grant's Meditations among the Coffee-cup, 263 Gravesend--from our own Correspondent, 121 Great Annual Michaelmas Jubilee, 135 [Illustration: H] (H)all is lost now! 123 "Habit is second Nature," 147 Hamlet's Soliloquy by a XX Teetotaller, 190 Happy Land, 173 Hard and Fast, 203 Hard to Remember, 209 _Harmer Virumque Cano_, 215 Heavy Lightness, 83 High Life Below Stairs, 134 Hints on Popping the Question, 233 Hints to New Members, 82 Hints on Melo-dramatic Music, 17 Hints how to enjoy an Omnibus, 250 His Turn now, 237 Hitting the Right Nail on the Head, 52 Hostilities in Private Life, 178 Humane Suggestion, 111 Hume's Terminology, 1 Hume's Day-school, 11 Hume _Leeds_--Wakley Follows, 180 Humfery Cheat-'em, 45 [Illustration: I] "I Do Adjure you, Answer me!" 154 If I had a Thousand a Year, 63 Imperial Parliament--The Queen's Speech, 78 Important News from China, 74 Important Intelligence, 269 Important Invention, 130 Inauguration of the Image of Shakspere, 106 Injured Innocence, 54 Inquest, 41 Inquest Extraordinary, 87 Inquest Extraordinary on a Coroner, 155 Inquest--not Extraordinary, 78 Irish Intelligence.--Awful State of the Country, 220 Irish Particular, 52 It was before I married, 57 [Illustration: J] Jocky Jason, 57 Joe Hume's Forthcoming Work, 221 Joe Hum(e)anity, 123 Jonathans, 24, 37 [Illustration: K] Keeping it dark, 189 Kidnapping Extraordinary, 179 Kings and Carpenters, 234 [Illustration: L] Labours of the British Association, 57 Labours of the Session, 159 Lady Morgan's Little One, 49 Lam(b)entations, 71 Land Sharks and Sea Gulls, 142 Last New Sayings, 191 Laurie's Raillery, 252 Laurie's Essay on the Pharmacopoeia, 168 Laurie on Geography, 161 Lays of the "Beau Monde," 141 Lays of the Lazy, 70 Legal Pugilism, 41 Lessons in Punmanship, 2 Letter of Introduction, 90 Like Master Like Man, 154 Lines on Miss Adelaide Kemble, 255 Looking on the Black Side of Things, 99 List of Outrages, 142 Literary Queries and Replies, 24 Lord Melbourne's Letter-beg, 70 Lord Johnny Licking the Birse, 54 Love and Hymen, 244 Loyalty and Insanity, 258 Linen-drapers of Ludgate, 166 List of the Premiums at the H.S. Soc., 189 Literary Recipes, 39 [Illustration: M] Madame Tussaud's, 96 Magisterial Axioms, 226 Major Beniowsky's New Art of Memory, 149 Making a Composition with one's Ancestors, 135 Marriage and Christening Extraordinary, 22 Matin\'c8e Mesmerique, 123 Matrimonial Agency, 59 Maternal Solicitude, 70 "Matters in Fact" and "Matters in Law," 59 Metropolitan Improvements, 141 Michaelmas Day, 142 Modern Wat Tylers, 26 Molar and Incisor, 136 Monsieur Jullien, 15 More Ways than One, &c., 15 Morbid Sympathy for Criminals, 227 More Sketches of London Life, 231 More Fashionable Intelligence, 227 Mr. Punch, Artist in Philosophy and Fireworks, 202 Musical News (Noose), 243 "My Name's the Doctor," 40 Myself, Punch, and the Keeleys, 217 [Illustration: N] Napoleon's Statue at Boulogne, 81 National Distress, 251 Native Swallows, 1 Narrative of an Awful Case of Extreme Distress, 77 New Code of Signals, 57 News for the Syncretics, 101 New Parliamentary Returns, 83 New Annuals and Republications, 238 News of Extraordinary Interest, 15 New Swimming Apparatus, 99 New Works now in the Press, 171 New Stuffing for the Speaker's Chair, 41 Nigger Peculiarities, 184 Nobody Cares and Nobody Nose, 250 Nothing Wonderful, 26 Nothing New, 159 "Not Exactly," 256 Not a Step Fa(r)ther, 173 Nouveau Manuel du Voyageur, 28 Novel Experiment--Great Screw, 82 Novel Subscriptions, 123 Nursery Education Report, 54 Nursery Education Report--No. 2, 62 [Illustration: O] Official Report of the Fire at the Tower, 241 Oh! Day and Night! 132 Oh! Gemini! 228 Old Bailey, 41 Ominous, 22 "One Good Turn deserves Another," 218 On Dits of the Clubs, 53 On Snuff, and the Different Ways of _Taking_ it, 256 On the Introduction of Pantomime into the English Language, 10 On Sir E.L. Bulwer, Bart., 28 On the Science of Electioneering, 110 On the Key-Vive, 191 On the Popularity of Mr. Ch--s K--n, 48 Our City Article, 39, 245 Our Foreign Relations, 118 Our Trade Report, 189 Our Weathercock, 241 Out of School, 275 Out of Season, 98 [Illustration: P] Parliamentary Intentions, 90 Parliamentary Masons--Parliamentary Pictures, 162 Peel's Pre-existence, 198 Peel "regularly called in," 102 Pen and Palette Portraits, 262, 274 Peter the Great (Fool?), 250 Philanthropy, Fine Writing, and Fireworks, 77 Physiology of the Lond. Med. Student, 142, 154, 165, 177, 185, 201, 213, 225, 229, 244, 253, 265 Pictorial History of Parliament, 174 Pleasures of Hope (rather expensive), 83 Please to remember the Fifth of November, 195 Poached Egotism, 143 Poetry on an Improved Principle, 25 Political Naturalist's Library, 143 Political Euclid, 149, 166 Politics of the Outward Man, 186 Political Intelligence, 264 Poor Jack, 158 Poor John Bull, 34 Popish Red-dress, 251 "'Possum up a Gum Tree," 205 Pray don't tell the Governor, 28 Present Crops Abroad, 82 Private, 13 Proper Precaution, 222 Prospectus for a Provident Annuity Company, 81 Prospectus for a New Hand-book of Jesters, 238 Prospectus of a New Grand Railroad Accident and Partial Mutilation Provident Society, 159 Private Correspondence, 155 Providing for Evil Days, 107 Promenade Concerts, 168 Public Affairs on Phrenological Principles, 57 Punch and Peel, 18 Punch and Peel--the New Cabinet, 30 Punch and Sir John Pollen, 45 Punch and the Swiss Giantess, 245 Punchlied--Song for Punch Drinkers, 268 Punch's Catechism of Geography, 214 Punch's Commission to Inquire into the General Distress, 170 Punch's Correspondence, 17 Punch's Extra Dramatic Intelligence, 69 Punch's Essence of Guffaw, 122 Punch's Guide to the Watering Places--Brighton, 145 Punch's Histrionic Readings in History--England, 136 Punch's Information, 41, 58, 82, 119, 179, 261 Punch's Lecture on Morality, 119 Punch's Letter-Writer, 255 Punch's Literature, 86 Punch's Literary Intelligence, 276 Punch's New General Letter-Writer, 160 Punch's P\'caan to the Princelet, 209 Punch's Political Economy, 191 Punch's Random Recoll. of the House of Lords, 52 Punch's Review: Madame Laffarge, 189 Punch's Stomachology, Lecture I., 232 PUNCH'S THEATRE, 12, 24, 36, 48, 60, 72, 84, 95, 107, 113, 131, 132, 144, 156, 167, 180, 192, 203, 204, 216, 239, 240, 252, 264, 276 [Illustration: Q] Q.E.D., 133 Qualifications for an M.P., 12 Queer Queries, 269 Questions by the Disowned of Nottingham, 23 [Illustration: R] Rather Ominous, 83 Rather Suicidal, 82 Reasons Ne Plus Ultra, 76, 97 Recollections of a Trip in Mr. Hampton's Balloon, 99 Railway Accidents, Prevention of, 165 Reconciling a Difference, 241 Recreation for the Public, 130 Reform your Lawyer's Bills, 197 Regularly Called in and Bowled out, 225 Rejected Address of the Melancholy Whigs, 54 Relative Gentility, 189 Revenge is Sweet, 23 Review, 23 "Rob me the Exchequer, Hal," 194 Roebuck defying the "Thunderer," 134 Romance of a Teacup, 221, 233, 245 Root and Branch, 142 Royal Nursery Education Report, No. 3, 105 Rumball the Comedian, 41 [Illustration: S] Sayings and Doings in the Royal Nursery, 2 Savory Con. by Cox, 178 Schools of Design, 83, 159 Seeing Nothing, 226 Shall Great Olympus to a Molehill Stoop? 89 Shocking want of Sympathy, 29 Should this meet the Eye, 203 Sibthorpiana, 144 Sibthorp's Corner, 233, 251, 267 Sibthorp on Borthwick, 172 Sibthorp on the Corn Laws, 118 Sibthorp's Very Best, 75 Sibthorpian Problems, 180 Signs of the Times, 253 Sir Francis Burdett's Visit to the Tower, 197 Sir Peter Laurie, 210 Sir Robert Peel and the Queen, 93 Sir Robert Peel (Loquitur), 155 "Slumber, my Darling," 237 Some things to which the Irish would not swear, 177 Something Warlike, 1 So much for Buckingham, 159 Songs for Catarrhs, 205 Songs for the Sentimental, 6, 22, 37, 49, 81, 85, 123, 143, 149, 202, 233, 252, 262, 267 Songs of the Seedy, 93, 155, 167, 179, 184, 251 Soup, \'87 la Julien, 264 Spanish Politics, 167 Sparks from the Fire--All is not Lost, 214 Speech from the Hustings, 24 Sporting--the Knocker Hunt, 14 Sporting Face, 145 Sporting in Downing-street, 69 Starvation Statistics for Sir Robert Peel, 267 Stenotypography, 15 Street Politics--Punch and his Stage-Manager, 6 "Stupid as a Post," 241 Supreme Court of the High Inquisitor Punch, 40, 69 Surrey Zoological Gardens, 109 "Syllables which breathe of the Sweet South," 22 Syncretic Literature, 100, 112, 124 Synopsis of Voting according to Cant, 3 Sweet Autumn Days, 153 [Illustration: T] Taking the Hodds, 133 Taking a Sight at the Fire, 220 Theatrical Intelligence, 107 TALES, SKETCHES, &c. A Day-Dream at my Uncle's, 193 A Rail-Road Novel, 2 Father O'Flynn and his Congregation, 125 My Uncle Bucket, 64 My Friend Tom, 101 Say it was "me," 148 "Take Care of Him," 268 The Barber of Stocksbawler, 161 The Currah Cut, 76 The Gold Snuff-box, 183 The Great Creature, 169 The Heir of Applebite, 73, 89, 97, 109, 121, 146, 171, 182, 194, 206, 219 The Man of Habit, 191 The Omen Outwitted, 117 The Professional Singer, 4 The Puff Papers, 230, 242, 254, 266 Tom Connor's Dilemma, 153 The Sailor's Secret, 22 The Tiptoes, 133 The Wife Catchers, 34, 37, 49, 61 Theatre-Royal Drury Lane, 47 The Above-bridge Navy, 35 The Amende Honorable, 107 The Bane and Antidote, 241 The Beauty of Brass, 111 The Boy Jones's Log, 46 The Broth of a Boy, 269 The Battle and the Breeze, 130 The Corn Laws and Christianity, 114 The Cheroot, 273 The Copper Captain, 267 The Corsair; a Poem to be read on Railroads, 241 The Dinnerology of England, 78 The Destruction of the Aldermen, 215 The Desire of Pleasing, 181 The Election of Ballinafad, 21 The Entire Animal, 12 The Explosive Box, 28 The Evil most to be Dreaded, 143 The Fastest Man, 267 The Fasting Phenomenon, 130 "The force of Fancy could no further go," 216 The F\'cdtes for the Polish, 249 The Fire at the Tower, 195 The Gent's Own Book, 63, 75, 85, 98, 147, 190, 207 The Great Cricket Match at St. Stephen's, 87 The Golden-square Revolution, 99 The Geology of Society, 178 The High-road to Gentility, 257 The Knatchbull Testimonial, 243 The late Promotions, 264 The Legal Eccalobeion, 52 The Lord Mayor's Fool, 214 The Lord Mayors and the Queen, 202 The Loves of the Plants, 26 The Lost Med. Papers of the British Assoc., 94 The Limerick Mares, 231 The Lambeth Demosthenes, 219 The Light of all Nations, 130 The Minto House Manifesto, 45 The Ministerial TOP, 123 The Mansion-house Parrot, 58 The Money Market, 69 The Moral of Punch, 1 The Male Dalilah, 227 The Masons and the Stone Jug, 216 The Ministry's Ode to the Passions, 93 The New Doctor's System, 132 The Normandie "No-go," 29 The New Administration, 100 The New House, 29 The New State Stretcher, 173 The O'Connell Papers, 208 The Prince of Wales, 226 The Packed Jury, 87 The Pensive Peel, 183 The Prince of Wales--his Future Times, 222 The Prince's Extra, 216 The Rival Candidates, 196 The Rape of the Lock-up, 228 The Royal Bulletins, 226 The Rich Old Buffer, 77 The Rising Sun, 17 The Royal Lion and Unicorn--a Dialogue, 50 The Statistical Society, 110 The School of Design at Hookham-cum-Snivey, 269 The Star System, 231 The Speakership, 58 The Two Fatal Chiropedists, 89 The Two Macbeths, or the Haymarket Gemini, 47 The Tory Peacocks and the Finsbury Daw, 139 The Tory Table d'H\'d9te, 52 The Thorny Premier, 144 The Tea-service on Sea-service, 170 The Two New Equity Judges, 202 The Two last Important Sittings, 180 The Unkindest Cut of All, 221 The very "next" Jonathan, 157 The Value of Stocks--Last Quotation, 166 The Wheels of Fortune, 226 The Wise Man of the East, 250 The "Well-dressed" and the "Well-to-do," 138 The War with China, 168 The "Weight" of Royalty--the Social "Scale," 270 The Wapping Deluge, 178 The Whigs' last Dying Speech, 66 Those Diving Belles! those Diving Belles! 158 To the Laughter-loving Public, 23 "Try our best Sympathy," 190 To bad Jokers, 40 To benevolent and humane Jokers, 168 To Fancy Builders and Capitalists, 38 To Mr. Green, the Inspector of Highways, 74 To Professors of Languages who give Long Credit, 144 To Punsters and others, 274 To Sir Rhubarb Pill, M.P. and M.D., 123 To Sir F--s B--t, 39 To Sir Robert, 149 To the Black-balled of the United Service, 9 Transactions of the Soc. of Hookham-cum-Snivey, 141 Transactions and Yearly Report of do., 105, 118 Tremendous Failure, 207 [Illustration: U] University of London, 51 Vocal Evasion, 83 Verses on Miss Chaplin, 238 "Very Like a Whale," 173 [Illustration: W] War to the Nail, 136 Waterford Election, 29 W(h)at Tyler, 122 What, ho! Apothecary, 23 "When Vulcan Forged," &c., 197 Whig-Waggeries, 13 Who are to be the Lords in Waiting, 99 Wit without Money, 38, 71 [Transcriber's Note: This table converts Page Number to Issue Date] ------------------------------------------------------------------ | Page Issue | Page Issue | |---------------------------------|--------------------------------| | 1- 12 July 17, 1841 | 145-156 October 9, 1841 | | 13- 24 July 24, 1841 | 157-168 October 16, 1841 | | 25- 36 July 31, 1841 | 169-180 October 23, 1841 | | 37- 48 August 7, 1841 | 181-192 October 30, 1841 | | 49- 60 August 14, 1841 | 193-204 November 6, 1841 | | 61- 72 August 21, 1841 | 205-216 November 13, 1841 | | 73- 84 August 28, 1841 | 217-228 November 20, 1841 | | 85- 96 September 5, 1841 | 229-240 November 27, 1841 | | 97-108 September 12, 1841 | 241-252 December 4, 1841 | | 108-120 September 18, 1841 | 253-264 December 11, 1841 | | 121-132 September 25, 1841 | 265-276 December 18, 1841 | | 133-144 October 2, 1841 | 277-280 December 25, 1841 | ------------------------------------------------------------------ END OF THE FIRST VOLUME. 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