t he is of no account, a mere coward, not worthy the name of a soldier, that is not a notorious whoremaster." In Italy he is not a gentleman, that besides his wife hath not a courtesan and a mistress. 'Tis no marvel, then, if poor women in such cases be jealous, when they shall see themselves manifestly neglected, contemned, loathed, unkindly used: their disloyal husbands to entertain others in their rooms, and many times to court ladies to their faces: other men's wives to wear their jewels: how shall a poor woman in such a case moderate her passion? [6091]_Quis tibi nunc Dido cernenti talia sensus_? How, on the other side, shall a poor man contain himself from this feral malady, when he shall see so manifest signs of his wife's inconstancy? when, as Milo's wife, she dotes upon every young man she sees, or, as [6092]Martial's Sota,--_deserto sequitur Clitum marito_, "deserts her husband and follows Clitus." Though her husband be proper and tall, fair and lovely to behold, able to give contentment to any one woman, yet she will taste of the forbidden fruit: Juvenal's Iberina to a hair, she is as well pleased with one eye as one man. If a young gallant come by chance into her presence, a fastidious brisk, that can wear his clothes well in fashion, with a lock, jingling spur, a feather, that can cringe, and withal compliment, court a gentlewoman, she raves upon him, "O what a lovely proper man he was," another Hector, an Alexander, a goodly man, a demigod, how sweetly he carried himself, with how comely a grace, _sic oculos, sic ille manus, sic ora ferebat_, how neatly he did wear his clothes! [6093] _Quam sese ore ferens, quam forti pectore et armis_, how bravely did he discourse, ride, sing, and dance, &c., and then she begins to loathe her husband, _repugnans osculatur_, to hate him and his filthy beard, his goatish complexion, as Doris said of Polyphemus, [6094]_totus qui saniem, totus ut hircus olet_, he is a rammy fulsome fellow, a goblin-faced fellow, he smells, he stinks, _Et caepas simul alliumque ructat_ [6095]--_si quando ad thalamum_, &c., how like a dizzard, a fool, an ass, he looks, how like a clown he behaves himself! [6096]she will not come near him by her own good will, but wholly rejects him, as Venus did her fuliginous Vulcan, at last, _Nec Deus hunc mensa, Dea nec dignata cubili est_. [6097]So did Lucretia, a lady of Senae, after she had but seen Euryalus, _in Eurialum tota ferebatur, domum reversa_, &c., she would not hold her eyes off him in his presence,-- [6098]_tantum egregio decus enitet ore_, and in his absence could think of none but him, _odit virum_, she loathed her husband forthwith, might not abide him: [6099] "Et conjugalis negligens tori, viro Praesente, acerbo nauseat fastidio;" "All against the laws of matrimony, She did abhor her husband's phis'nomy;" and sought all opportunity to see her sweetheart again. Now when the good man shall observe his wife so lightly given, "to be so free and familiar with every gallant, her immodesty and wantonness," (as [6100]Camerarius notes) it must needs yield matter of suspicion to him, when she still pranks up herself beyond her means and fortunes, makes impertinent journeys, unnecessary visitations, stays out so long, with such and such companions, so frequently goes to plays, masks, feasts, and all public meetings, shall use such immodest [6101]gestures, free speeches, and withal show some distaste of her own husband; how can he choose, "though he were another Socrates, but be suspicious, and instantly jealous?" [6102] _Socraticas tandem faciet transcendere metas_; more especially when he shall take notice of their more secret and sly tricks, which to cornute their husbands they commonly use (_dum ludis, ludos haec te facit_) they pretend love, honour, chastity, and seem to respect them before all men living, saints in show, so cunningly can they dissemble, they will not so much as look upon another man in his presence, [6103]so chaste, so religious, and so devout, they cannot endure the name or sight of a quean, a harlot, out upon her! and in their outward carriage are most loving and officious, will kiss their husband, and hang about his neck (dear husband, sweet husband), and with a composed countenance salute him, especially when he comes home; or if he go from home, weep, sigh, lament, and take upon them to be sick and swoon (like Jocundo's wife in [6104]Ariosto, when her husband was to depart), and yet arrant, &c. they care not for him, "Aye me, the thought (quoth she) makes me so 'fraid, That scarce the breath abideth in my breast; Peace, my sweet love and wife, Jocundo said, And weeps as fast, and comforts her his best, &c. All this might not assuage the woman's pain, Needs must I die before you come again, Nor how to keep my life I can devise, The doleful days and nights I shall sustain, From meat my mouth, from sleep will keep mine eyes, &c. That very night that went before the morrow, That he had pointed surely to depart, Jocundo's wife was sick, and swoon'd for sorrow Amid his arms, so heavy was her heart." And yet for all these counterfeit tears and protestations, Jocundo coming back in all haste for a jewel he had forgot, "His chaste and yoke-fellow he found Yok'd with a knave, all honesty neglected, The adulterer sleeping very sound, Yet by his face was easily detected: A beggar's brat bred by him from his cradle., And now was riding on his master's saddle." Thus can they cunningly counterfeit, as [6105]Platina describes their customs, "kiss their husbands, whom they had rather see hanging on a gallows, and swear they love him dearer than their own lives, whose soul they would not ransom for their little dog's," ------"similis si permutatio detur, Morte viri cupiunt aniniani servare catellae." Many of them seem to be precise and holy forsooth, and will go to such a [6106]church, to hear such a good man by all means, an excellent man, when 'tis for no other intent (as he follows it) than "to see and to be seen, to observe what fashions are in use, to meet some pander, bawd, monk, friar, or to entice some good fellow." For they persuade themselves, as [6107] Nevisanus shows, "That it is neither sin nor shame to lie with a lord or parish priest, if he be a proper man;" [6108]"and though she kneel often, and pray devoutly, 'tis" (saith Platina) "not for her husband's welfare, or children's good, or any friend, but for her sweetheart's return, her pander's health." If her husband would have her go, she feigns herself sick, [6109]_Et simulat subito condoluisse caput_: her head aches, and she cannot stir: but if her paramour ask as much, she is for him in all seasons, at all hours of the night. [6110]In the kingdom of Malabar, and about Goa in the East Indies, the women are so subtile that, with a certain drink they give them to drive away cares as they say, [6111]"they will make them sleep for twenty-four hours, or so intoxicate them that they can remember nought of that they saw done, or heard, and, by washing of their feet, restore them again, and so make their husbands cuckolds to their faces." Some are ill-disposed at all times, to all persons they like, others more wary to some few, at such and such seasons, as Augusta, Livia, _non nisi plena navi vectorem tollebat_. But as he said, [6112] "No pen could write, no tongue attain to tell, By force of eloquence, or help of art, Of women's treacheries the hundredth part." Both, to say truth, are often faulty; men and women give just occasions in this humour of discontent, aggravate and yield matter of suspicion: but most part of the chief causes proceed from other adventitious accidents and circumstances, though the parties be free, and both well given themselves. The indiscreet carriage of some lascivious gallant (_et e contra_ of some light woman) by his often frequenting of a house, bold unseemly gestures, may make a breach, and by his over-familiarity, if he be inclined to yellowness, colour him quite out. If he be poor, basely born, saith Beneditto Varchi, and otherwise unhandsome, he suspects him the less; but if a proper man, such as was Alcibiades in Greece, and Castruccius Castrucanus in Italy, well descended, commendable for his good parts, he taketh on the more, and watcheth his doings. [6113]Theodosius the emperor gave his wife Eudoxia a golden apple when he was a suitor to her, which she long after bestowed upon a young gallant in the court, of her especial acquaintance. The emperor, espying this apple in his hand, suspected forthwith, more than was, his wife's dishonesty, banished him the court, and from that day following forbare to accompany her any more. [6114]A rich merchant had a fair wife; according to his custom he went to travel; in his absence a good fellow tempted his wife; she denied him; yet he, dying a little after, gave her a legacy for the love he bore her. At his return, her jealous husband, because she had got more by land than he had done at sea, turned her away upon suspicion. Now when those other circumstances of time and place, opportunity and importunity shall concur, what will they not effect? "Fair opportunity can win the coyest she that is, So wisely he takes time, as he'll be sure he will not miss: Then lie that loves her gamesome vein, and tempers toys with art, Brings love that swimmeth in her eyes to dive into her heart." As at plays, masks, great feasts and banquets, one singles out his wife to dance, another courts her in his presence, a third tempts her, a fourth insinuates with a pleasing compliment, a sweet smile, ingratiates himself with an amphibological speech, as that merry companion in the [6115] Satirist did to his Glycerium, [6116]_adsidens et interiorem palmam amabiliter concutiens_, "Quod meus hortus habet sumat impune licebit, Si dederis nobis quod tuus hortus habet;" with many such, &c., and then as he saith, [6117] _She may no while in chastity abide. That is assaid on every side_. For after al great feast, [6118]_Vino saepe suum nescit amica virum_. Noah (saith [6119]Hierome) "showed his nakedness in his drunkenness, which for six hundred years he had covered in soberness." Lot lay with his daughters in his drink, as Cyneras with Myrrha,--[6120]_quid enim Venus ebria curat_? The most continent may be overcome, or if otherwise they keep bad company, they that are modest of themselves, and dare not offend, "confirmed by [6121]others, grow impudent, and confident, and get an ill habit." [6122] "Alia quaestus gratia matrimonium corrumpit, Alia peccans multas vult morbi habere socias." Or if they dwell in suspected places, as in an infamous inn, near some stews, near monks, friars, Nevisanus adds, where be many tempters and solicitors, idle persons that frequent their companies, it may give just cause of suspicion. Martial of old inveighed against them that counterfeited a disease to go to the bath; for so, many times, ------"relicto Conjuge Penelope venit, abit Helene." Aeneas Sylvius puts in a caveat against princes' courts, because there be _tot formosi juvenes qui promittunt_, so many brave suitors to tempt, &c. [6123]"If you leave her in such a place, you shall likely find her in company you like not, either they come to her, or she is gone to them." [6124]Kornmannus makes a doubting jest in his lascivious country, _Virginis illibata censeatur ne castitas ad quam frequentur accedant scholares_? And Baldus the lawyer scoffs on, _quum scholaris, inquit, loquitur cum puella, non praesumitur ei dicere, Pater noster_, when a scholar talks with a maid, or another man's wife in private, it is presumed he saith not a _pater noster_. Or if I shall see a monk or a friar climb up a ladder at midnight into a virgin's or widow's chamber window, I shall hardly think he then goes to administer the sacraments, or to take her confession. These are the ordinary causes of jealousy, which are intended or remitted as the circumstances vary. MEMB. II. _Symptoms of Jealousy, Fear, Sorrow, Suspicion, strange Actions, Gestures, Outrages, Locking up, Oaths, Trials, Laws, &c._ Of all passions, as I have already proved, love is most violent, and of those bitter potions which this love-melancholy affords, this bastard jealousy is the greatest, as appears by those prodigious symptoms which it hath, and that it produceth. For besides fear and sorrow, which is common to all melancholy, anxiety of mind, suspicion, aggravation, restless thoughts, paleness, meagreness, neglect of business, and the like, these men are farther yet misaffected, and in a higher strain. 'Tis a more vehement passion, a more furious perturbation, a bitter pain, a fire, a pernicious curiosity, a gall corrupting the honey of our life, madness, vertigo, plague, hell, they are more than ordinarily disquieted, they lose _bonum pacis_, as [6125]Chrysostom observes; and though they be rich, keep sumptuous tables, be nobly allied, yet _miserrimi omnium sunt_, they are most miserable, they are more than ordinarily discontent, more sad, _nihil tristius_, more than ordinarily suspicious. Jealousy, saith [6126]Vives, "begets unquietness in the mind, night and day: he hunts after every word he hears, every whisper, and amplifies it to himself" (as all melancholy men do in other matters) "with a most unjust calumny of others, he misinterprets everything is said or done, most apt to mistake or misconstrue," he pries into every corner, follows close, observes to a hair. 'Tis proper to jealousy so to do, "Pale hag, infernal fury, pleasure's smart, Envy's observer, prying in every part." Besides those strange gestures of staring, frowning, grinning, rolling of eyes, menacing, ghastly looks, broken pace, interrupt, precipitate, half-turns. He will sometimes sigh, weep, sob for anger. _Nempe suos imbres etiam ista tonitrua fundunt_,[6127]--swear and belie, slander any man, curse, threaten, brawl, scold, fight; and sometimes again flatter and speak fair, ask forgiveness, kiss and coll, condemn his rashness and folly, vow, protest, and swear he will never do so again; and then eftsoons, impatient as he is, rave, roar, and lay about him like a madman, thump her sides, drag her about perchance, drive her out of doors, send her home, he will be divorced forthwith, she is a whore, &c., and by-and-by with all submission compliment, entreat her fair, and bring her in again, he loves her dearly, she is his sweet, most kind and loving wife, he will not change, nor leave her for a kingdom; so he continues off and on, as the toy takes him, the object moves him, but most part brawling, fretting, unquiet he is, accusing and suspecting not strangers only, but brothers and sisters, father and mother, nearest and dearest friends. He thinks with those Italians, "Chi non tocca parentado, Tocca mai e rado." And through fear conceives unto himself things almost incredible and impossible to be effected. As a heron when she fishes, still prying on all sides; or as a cat doth a mouse, his eye is never off hers; he gloats on him, on her, accurately observing on whom she looks, who looks at her, what she saith, doth, at dinner, at supper, sitting, walking, at home, abroad, he is the same, still inquiring, maundering, gazing, listening, affrighted with every small object; why did she smile, why did she pity him, commend him? why did she drink twice to such a man? why did she offer to kiss, to dance? &c., a whore, a whore, an arrant whore. All this he confesseth in the poet, [6128] "Omnia me terrent, timidus sum, ignosce timori. Et miser in tunica suspicor esse virum. Me laedit si multa tibi dabit oscula mater, Me soror, et cum qua dormit amica simul." "Each thing affrights me, I do fear, Ah pardon me my fear, I doubt a man is hid within The clothes that thou dost wear." Is it not a man in woman's apparel? is not somebody in that great chest, or behind the door, or hangings, or in some of those barrels? may not a man steal in at the window with a ladder of ropes, or come down the chimney, have a false key, or get in when he is asleep? If a mouse do but stir, or the wind blow, a casement clatter, that's the villain, there he is: by his goodwill no man shall see her, salute her, speak with her, she shall not go forth of his sight, so much as to do her needs. [6129]_Non ita bovem argus_, &c. Argus did not so keep his cow, that watchful dragon the golden fleece, or Cerberus the coming in of hell, as he keeps his wife. If a dear friend or near kinsman come as guest to his house, to visit him, he will never let him be out of his own sight and company, lest, peradventure, &c. If the necessity of his business be such that he must go from home, he doth either lock her up, or commit her with a deal of injunctions and protestations to some trusty friends, him and her he sets and bribes to oversee: one servant is set in his absence to watch another, and all to observe his wife, and yet all this will not serve, though his business be very urgent, he will when he is halfway come back in all post haste, rise from supper, or at midnight, and be gone, and sometimes leave his business undone, and as a stranger court his own wife in some disguised habit. Though there be no danger at all, no cause of suspicion, she live in such a place, where Messalina herself could not be dishonest if she would, yet he suspects her as much as if she were in a bawdy-house, some prince's court, or in a common inn, where all comers might have free access. He calls her on a sudden all to nought, she is a strumpet, a light housewife, a bitch, an arrant whore. No persuasion, no protestation can divert this passion, nothing can ease him, secure or give him satisfaction. It is most strange to report what outrageous acts by men and women have been committed in this kind, by women especially, that will run after their husbands into all places and companies, [6130]as Jovianus Pontanus's wife did by him, follow him whithersoever he went, it matters not, or upon what business, raving like Juno in the tragedy, miscalling, cursing, swearing, and mistrusting every one she sees. Gomesius in his third book of the Life and Deeds of Francis Ximenius, sometime archbishop of Toledo, hath a strange story of that incredible jealousy of Joan queen of Spain, wife to King Philip, mother of Ferdinand and Charles the Fifth, emperors; when her husband Philip, either for that he was tired with his wife's jealousy, or had some great business, went into the Low Countries: she was so impatient and melancholy upon his departure, that she would scarce eat her meat, or converse with any man; and though she were with child, the season of the year very bad, the wind against her, in all haste she would to sea after him. Neither Isabella her queen mother, the archbishop, or any other friend could persuade her to the contrary, but she would after him. When she was now come into the Low Countries, and kindly entertained by her husband, she could not contain herself, [6131]"but in a rage ran upon a yellow-haired wench," with whom she suspected her husband to be naught, "cut off her hair, did beat her black and blue, and so dragged her about." It is an ordinary thing for women in such cases to scratch the faces, slit the noses of such as they suspect; as Henry the Second's importune Juno did by Rosamond at Woodstock; for she complains in a [6132]modern poet, she scarce spake, "But flies with eager fury to my face, Offering me most unwomanly disgrace. Look how a tigress, &c. So fell she on me in outrageous wise, As could disdain and jealousy devise." Or if it be so they dare not or cannot execute any such tyrannical injustice, they will miscall, rail and revile, bear them deadly hate and malice, as [6133]Tacitus observes, "The hatred of a jealous woman is inseparable against such as she suspects." [6134] "Nulla vis flammae tumidique venti Tanta, nec teli metuanda torti. Quanta cum conjux viduata taedis Ardet et odit." "Winds, weapons, flames make not such hurly burly, As raving women turn all topsy-turvy." So did Agrippina by Lollia, and Calphurnia in the days of Claudius. But women are sufficiently curbed in such cases, the rage of men is more eminent, and frequently put in practice. See but with what rigour those jealous husbands tyrannise over their poor wives. In Greece, Spain, Italy, Turkey, Africa, Asia, and generally over all those hot countries, [6135] _Mulieres vestrae terra vestra, arate sicut vultis_. Mahomet in his Alcoran gives this power to men, your wives are as your land, till them, use them, entreat them fair or foul, as you will yourselves. [6136]_Mecastor lege dura vivunt mulieres_, they lock them still in their houses, which are so many prisons to them. will suffer nobody to come at them, or their wives to be seen abroad,--_nec campos liceat lustrare patentes_. They must not so much as look out. And if they be great persons, they have eunuchs to keep them, as the Grand Signior among the Turks, the Sophies of Persia, those Tartarian Mogors, and Kings of China. _Infantes masculos castrant innumeros ut regi serviant_, saith [6137]Riccius, "they geld innumerable infants" to this purpose; the King of [6138]China "maintains 10,000 eunuchs in his family to keep his wives." The Xeriffes of Barbary keep their courtesans in such a strict manner, that if any man come but in sight of them he dies for it; and if they chance to see a man, and do not instantly cry out, though from their windows, they must be put to death. The Turks have I know not how many black, deformed eunuchs (for the white serve for other ministeries) to this purpose sent commonly from Egypt, deprived in their childhood of all their privities, and brought up in the seraglio at Constantinople to keep their wives; which are so penned up they may not confer with any living man, or converse with younger women, have a cucumber or carrot sent into them for their diet, but sliced, for fear, &c. and so live and are left alone to their unchaste thoughts all the days of their lives. The vulgar sort of women, if at any time they come abroad, which is very seldom, to visit one another, or to go to their baths, are so covered, that no man can see them, as the matrons were in old Rome, _lectica aut sella tecta, vectae_, so [6139]Dion and Seneca record, _Velatae totae incedunt_, which [6140]Alexander ab Alexandro relates of the Parthians, _lib. 5. cap. 24._ which, with Andreas Tiraquellus his commentator, I rather think should be understood of Persians. I have not yet said all, they do not only lock them up, _sed et pudendis seras adhibent_: hear what Bembus relates _lib. 6._ of his Venetian history, of those inhabitants that dwell about Quilon in Africa. _Lusitani, inquit, quorundum civitates adierunt: qui natis statim faeminis naturam consuunt, quoad urinae exitus ne impediatur, easque quum adoleverint sic consutas in matrimonium collocant, ut sponsi prima cura sit conglutinatas puellae oras ferro interscindere_. In some parts of Greece at this day, like those old Jews, they will not believe their wives are honest, _nisi pannum menstruatum prima nocte videant_: our countryman [6141]Sands, in his peregrination, saith it is severely observed in Zanzynthus, or Zante; and Leo Afer in his time at Fez, in Africa, _non credunt virginem esse nisi videant sanguineam mappam; si non, ad parentes pudore rejicitur_. Those sheets are publicly shown by their parents, and kept as a sign of incorrupt virginity. The Jews of old examined their maids _ex tenui membrana_, called Hymen, which Laurentius in his anatomy, Columbus _lib. 12. cap. 10._ Capivaccius _lib. 4. cap. 11. de uteri affectibus_, Vincent, Alsarus Genuensis _quaesit. med. cent. 4._ Hieronymus Mercurialis _consult._ Ambros. Pareus, Julius Caesar Claudinus _Respons. 4._ as that also _de [6142]ruptura venarum ut sauguis fluat_, copiously confute; 'tis no sufficient trial they contend. And yet others again defend it, Gaspar Bartholinus _Institut. Anat. lib. 1. cap. 31._ Pinaeus of Paris, Albertus Magnus _de secret. mulier. cap. 9 & 10._ &c. and think they speak too much in favour of women. [6143] Ludovicus Boncialus _lib. 4. cap. 2. muliebr._ _naturalem illam uteri labiorum constrictionem, in qua virginitatem consistere volunt, astringentibus medicinis fieri posse vendicat, et si defloratae sint, astutae [6144]mulieres (inquit) nos fallunt in his. Idem Alsarius Crucius Genuensis iisdem fere verbis_. Idem Avicenna _lib. 3. Fen. 20. Tract. 1, cap. 47._ [6145]Rhasis _Continent. lib. 24._ Rodericus a Castro _de nat. mul. lib. 1. cap. 3._ An old bawdy nurse in [6146]Aristaenetus, (like that Spanish Caelestina, [6147]_quae, quinque mille virgines fecit mulieres, totidemque mulieres arte sua virgines_) when a fair maid of her acquaintance wept and made her moan to her, how she had been deflowered, and now ready to be married, was afraid it would be perceived, comfortably replied, _Noli vereri filia_, &c. "Fear not, daughter, I'll teach thee a trick to help it." _Sed haec extra callem._ To what end are all those astrological questions, _an sit virgo, an sit casta, an sit mulier_? and such strange absurd trials in Albertus Magnus, Bap. Porta, _Mag. lib. 2. cap. 21._ in Wecker. _lib. 5. de secret_, by stones, perfumes, to make them piss, and confess I know not what in their sleep; some jealous brain was the first founder of them. And to what passion may we ascribe those severe laws against jealousy, Num. v. 14, Adulterers Deut. cap. 22. v. xxii. as amongst the Hebrews, amongst the Egyptians (read [6148]Bohemus _l. 1. c. 5. de mor. gen._ of the Carthaginians, _cap. 6._ of Turks, _lib. 2. cap. 11._) amongst the Athenians of old, Italians at this day, wherein they are to be severely punished, cut in pieces, burned, _vivi-comburio_, buried alive, with several expurgations, &c. are they not as so many symptoms of incredible jealousy? we may say the same of those vestal virgins that fetched water in a sieve, as Tatia did in Rome, _anno ab. urb. condita 800._ before the senators; and [6149]Aemilia, _virgo innocens_, that ran over hot irons, as Emma, Edward the Confessor's mother did, the king himself being a spectator, with the like. We read in Nicephorus, that Chunegunda the wife of Henricus Bavarus emperor, suspected of adultery, _insimulata adulterii per ignitos vomeres illaesa transiit_, trod upon red hot coulters, and had no harm: such another story we find in Regino _lib. 2._ In Aventinus and Sigonius of Charles the Third and his wife Richarda, _an._ 887, that was so purged with hot irons. Pausanias saith, that he was once an eyewitness of such a miracle at Diana's temple, a maid without any harm at all walked upon burning coals. Pius Secund. in his description of Europe, _c. 46._ relates as much, that it was commonly practised at Diana's temple, for women to go barefoot over hot coals, to try their honesties: Plinius, Solinus, and many writers, make mention of [6150]Geronia's temple, and Dionysius Halicarnassus, _lib. 3._ of Memnon's statue, which were used to this purpose. Tatius _lib. 6._ of Pan his cave, (much like old St. Wilfrid's needle in Yorkshire) wherein they did use to try, maids, [6151]whether they were honest; when Leucippe went in, _suavissimus exaudiri sonus caepit_ Austin _de civ. Dei lib. 10. c. 16._ relates many such examples, all which Lavater _de spectr. part. 1. cap. 19_ contends to be done by the illusion of devils; though Thomas _quaest. 6. de polentia_, &c. ascribes it to good angels. Some, saith [6152]Austin, compel their wives to swear they be honest, as if perjury were a lesser sin than adultery; [6153]some consult oracles, as Phaerus that blind king of Egypt. Others reward, as those old Romans used to do; if a woman were contented with one man, _Corona pudicitiae donabatur_, she had a crown of chastity bestowed on her. When all this will not serve, saith Alexander Gaguinus, _cap. 5. descript. Muscoviae_, the Muscovites, if they suspect their wives, will beat them till they confess, and if that will not avail, like those wild Irish, be divorced at their pleasures, or else knock them on the heads, as the old [6154]Gauls have done in former ages. Of this tyranny of jealousy read more in Parthenius _Erot. cap. 10._ Camerarius _cap. 53. hor. subcis. et cent. 2. cap. 34._ Caelia's epistles, Tho. Chaloner _de repub. Aug. lib. 9._ Ariosto _lib. 31. stasse 1._ Felix Platerus _observat. lib. 1._ &c. MEMB. III. _Prognostics of Jealousy. Despair, Madness, to make away themselves and others_. Those which are jealous, most part, if they be not otherwise relieved, [6155]"proceed from suspicion to hatred, from hatred to frenzy, madness, injury, murder and despair." [6156] "A plague by whose most damnable effect. Divers in deep despair to die have sought, By which a man to madness near is brought, As well with causeless as with just suspect." In their madness many times, saith [6157]Vives, they make away themselves and others. Which induceth Cyprian to call it, _Foecundam et multiplicem perniciem, fontem cladium et seminarium delictorum_, a fruitful mischief, the seminary of offences, and fountain of murders. Tragical examples are too common in this kind, both new and old, in all ages, as of [6158] Cephalus and Procris, [6159]Phaereus of Egypt, Tereus, Atreus, and Thyestes. [6160]Alexander Phaereus was murdered of his wife, _ob pellicatus suspitionem_, Tully saith. Antoninus Verus was so made away by Lucilla; Demetrius the son of Antigonus, and Nicanor, by their wives. Hercules poisoned by Dejanira, [6161]Caecinna murdered by Vespasian, Justina, a Roman lady, by her husband. [6162]Amestris, Xerxes' wife, because she found her husband's cloak in Masista's house, cut off Masista, his wife's paps, and gave them to the dogs, flayed her besides, and cut off her ears, lips, tongue, and slit the nose of Artaynta her daughter. Our late writers are full of such outrages. [6163]Paulus Aemilius, in his history of France, hath a tragical story of Chilpericus the First his death, made away by Ferdegunde his queen. In a jealous humour he came from hunting, and stole behind his wife, as she was dressing and combing her head in the sun, gave her a familiar touch with his wand, which she mistaking for her lover, said, "Ah Landre, a good knight should strike before, and not behind:" but when she saw herself betrayed by his presence, she instantly took order to make him away. Hierome Osorius, in his eleventh book of the deeds of Emanuel King of Portugal, to this effect hath a tragical narration of one Ferdinandus Chalderia, that wounded Gotherinus, a noble countryman of his, at Goa in the East Indies, [6164]"and cut off one of his legs, for that he looked as he thought too familiarly upon his wife, which was afterwards a cause of many quarrels, and much bloodshed." Guianerius _cap. 36. de aegritud. matr._ speaks of a silly jealous fellow, that seeing his child new-born included in a caul, thought sure a [6165]Franciscan that used to come to his house, was the father of it, it was so like the friar's cowl, and thereupon threatened the friar to kill him: Fulgosus of a woman in Narbonne, that cut off her husband's privities in the night, because she thought he played false with her. The story of Jonuses Bassa, and fair Manto his wife, is well known to such as have read the Turkish history; and that of Joan of Spain, of which I treated in my former section. Her jealousy, saith Gomesius, was the cause of both their deaths: King Philip died for grief a little after, as [6166]Martian his physician gave it out, "and she for her part after a melancholy discontented life, misspent in lurking-holes and corners, made an end of her miseries." Felix Plater, in the first book of his observations, hath many such instances, of a physician of his acquaintance, [6167]"that was first mad through jealousy, and afterwards desperate:" of a merchant [6168]"that killed his wife in the same humour, and after precipitated himself:" of a doctor of law that cut off his man's nose: of a painter's wife in Basil, anno 1600, that was mother of nine children and had been twenty-seven years married, yet afterwards jealous, and so impatient that she became desperate, and would neither eat nor drink in her own house, for fear her husband should poison her. 'Tis a common sign this; for when once the humours are stirred, and the imagination misaffected, it will vary itself in divers forms; and many such absurd symptoms will accompany, even madness itself. Skenkius _observat. lib. 4. cap. de Uter._ hath an example of a jealous woman that by this means had many fits of the mother: and in his first book of some that through jealousy ran mad: of a baker that gelded himself to try his wife's honesty, &c. Such examples are too common. MEMB. IV. SUBSECT I.--_Cure of Jealousy; by avoiding occasions, not to be idle: of good counsel; to contemn it, not to watch or lock them up: to dissemble it, &c._ As of all other melancholy, some doubt whether this malady may be cured or no, they think 'tis like the [6169]gout, or Switzers, whom we commonly call Walloons, those hired soldiers, if once they take possession of a castle, they can never be got out. "Qui timet ut sua sit, ne quis sibi subtrahat illam, Ille Machaonia vix ope salvus est." [6170] "This is the cruel wound against whose smart, No liquor's force prevails, or any plaister, No skill of stars, no depth of magic art, Devised by that great clerk Zoroaster, A wound that so infects the soul and heart, As all our sense and reason it doth master; A wound whose pang and torment is so durable, As it may rightly called be incurable." Yet what I have formerly said of other melancholy, I will say again, it may be cured or mitigated at least by some contrary passion, good counsel and persuasion, if it be withstood in the beginning, maturely resisted, and as those ancients hold, [6171]"the nails of it be pared before they grow too long." No better means to resist or repel it than by avoiding idleness, to be still seriously busied about some matters of importance, to drive out those vain fears, foolish fantasies and irksome suspicions out of his head, and then to be persuaded by his judicious friends, to give ear to their good counsel and advice, and wisely to consider, how much he discredits himself, his friends, dishonours his children, disgraceth his family, publisheth his shame, and as a trumpeter of his own misery, divulgeth, macerates, grieves himself and others; what an argument of weakness it is, how absurd a thing in its own nature, how ridiculous, how brutish a passion, how sottish, how odious; for as [6172]Hierome well hath it, _Odium sui facit, et ipse novissime sibi odio est_, others hate him, and at last he hates himself for it; how harebrain a disease, mad and furious. If he will but hear them speak, no doubt he may be cured. [6173]Joan, queen of Spain, of whom I have formerly spoken, under pretence of changing air was sent to Complutum, or Alcada de las Heneras, where Ximenius the archbishop of Toledo then lived, that by his good counsel (as for the present she was) she might be eased. [6174]"For a disease of the soul, if concealed, tortures and overturns it, and by no physic can sooner be removed than by a discreet man's comfortable speeches." I will not here insert any consolatory sentences to this purpose, or forestall any man's invention, but leave it every one to dilate and amplify as he shall think fit in his own judgment: let him advise with Siracides _cap. 9. 1._ "Be not jealous over the wife of thy bosom;" read that comfortable and pithy speech to this purpose of Ximenius, in the author himself, as it is recorded by Gomesius; consult with Chaloner _lib. 9. de repub. Anglor._ or Caelia in her epistles, &c. Only this I will add, that if it be considered aright, which causeth this jealous passion, be it just or unjust, whether with or without cause, true or false, it ought not so heinously to be taken; 'tis no such real or capital matter, that it should make so deep a wound. 'Tis a blow that hurts not, an insensible smart, grounded many times upon false suspicion alone, and so fostered by a sinister conceit. If she be not dishonest, he troubles and macerates himself without a cause; or put case which is the worst, he be a cuckold, it cannot be helped, the more he stirs in it, the more he aggravates his own misery. How much better were it in such a case to dissemble or contemn it? why should that be feared which cannot be redressed? _multae tandem deposuerunt_ (saith [6175]Vives) _quum flecti maritos non posse vident_, many women, when they see there is no remedy, have been pacified; and shall men be more jealous than women? 'Tis some comfort in such a case to have companions, _Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris_; Who can say he is free? Who can assure himself he is not one _de praeterito_, or secure himself _de futuro_? If it were his case alone, it were hard; but being as it is almost a common calamity, 'tis not so grievously to be taken. If a man have a lock, which every man's key will open, as well as his own, why should he think to keep it private to himself? In some countries they make nothing of it, _ne nobiles quidem_, saith [6176]Leo Afer, in many parts of Africa (if she be past fourteen) there's not a nobleman that marries a maid, or that hath a chaste wife; 'tis so common; as the moon gives horns once a month to the world, do they to their husbands at least. And 'tis most part true which that Caledonian lady, [6177]Argetocovus, a British prince's wife, told Julia Augusta, when she took her up for dishonesty, "We Britons are naught at least with some few choice men of the better sort, but you Romans lie with every base knave, you are a company of common whores." Severus the emperor in his time made laws for the restraint of this vice; and as [6178]Dion Nicaeus relates in his life, _tria millia maechorum_, three thousand cuckold-makers, or _naturae monetam adulterantes_, as Philo calls them, false coiners, and clippers of nature's money, were summoned into the court at once. And yet, _Non omnem molitor quae fluit undam videt_, "the miller sees not all the water that goes by his mill:" no doubt, but, as in our days, these were of the commonalty, all the great ones were not so much as called in question for it. [6179]Martial's Epigram I suppose might have been generally applied in those licentious times, _Omnia solus habes_, &c., thy goods, lands, money, wits are thine own, _Uxorem sed habes Candide cum populo_; but neighbour Candidus your wife is common: husband and cuckold in that age it seems were reciprocal terms; the emperors themselves did wear Actaeon's badge; how many Caesars might I reckon up together, and what a catalogue of cornuted kings and princes in every story? Agamemnon, Menelaus, Philippus of Greece, Ptolomeus of Egypt, Lucullus, Caesar, Pompeius, Cato, Augustus, Antonius, Antoninus, &c., that wore fair plumes of bull's feathers in their crests. The bravest soldiers and most heroical spirits could not avoid it. They have been active and passive in this business, they have either given or taken horns. [6180]King Arthur, whom we call one of the nine worthies, for all his great valour, was unworthily served by Mordred, one of his round table knights: and Guithera, or Helena Alba, his fair wife, as Leland interprets it, was an arrant honest woman. _Parcerem libenter_ (saith mine [6181]author) _Heroinarum laesae majestati, si non historiae veritas aurem vellicaret_, I could willingly wink at a fair lady's faults, but that I am bound by the laws of history to tell the truth: against his will, God knows, did he write it, and so do I repeat it. I speak not of our times all this while, we have good, honest, virtuous men and women, whom fame, zeal, fear of God, religion and superstition contains: and yet for all that, we have many knights of this order, so dubbed by their wives, many good women abused by dissolute husbands. In some places, and such persons you may as soon enjoin them to carry water in a sieve, as to keep themselves honest. What shall a man do now in such a case? What remedy is to be had? how shall he be eased? By suing a divorce? this is hard to be effected: _si non caste, tamen caute_ they carry the matter so cunningly, that though it be as common as simony, as clear and as manifest as the nose in a man's face, yet it cannot be evidently proved, or they likely taken in the fact: they will have a knave Gallus to watch, or with that Roman [6182]Sulpitia, all made fast and sure, "Ne se Cadurcis destitutam fasciis, Nudam Caleno concumbentem videat." "she will hardly be surprised by her husband, be he never so wary." Much better then to put it up: the more he strives in it, the more he shall divulge his own shame: make a virtue of necessity, and conceal it. Yea, but the world takes notice of it, 'tis in every man's mouth: let them talk their pleasure, of whom speak they not in this sense? From the highest to the lowest they are thus censured all: there is no remedy then but patience. It may be 'tis his own fault, and he hath no reason to complain, 'tis _quid pro quo_, she is bad, he is worse: [6183]"Bethink thyself, hast thou not done as much for some of thy neighbours? why dost thou require that of thy wife, which thou wilt not perform thyself?" Thou rangest like a town bull, [6184]"why art thou so incensed if she tread, awry?" [6185] "Be it that some woman break chaste wedlock's laws, And leaves her husband and becomes unchaste: Yet commonly it is not without cause, She sees her man in sin her goods to waste, She feels that he his love from her withdraws, And hath on some perhaps less worthy placed. Who strike with sword, the scabbard them may strike, And sure love craveth love, like asketh like." _Ea semper studebit_, saith [6186]Nevisanus, _pares reddere vices_, she will quit it if she can. And therefore, as well adviseth Siracides, _cap. ix. 1._ "teach her not an evil lesson against thyself," which as Jansenius, Lyranus, on his text, and Carthusianus interpret, is no otherwise to be understood than that she do thee not a mischief. I do not excuse her in accusing thee; but if both be naught, mend thyself first; for as the old saying is, a good husband makes a good wife. Yea but thou repliest, 'tis not the like reason betwixt man and woman, through her fault my children are bastards, I may not endure it; [6187]_Sit amarulenta, sit imperiosa prodiga_, &c. Let her scold, brawl, and spend, I care not, _modo sit casta_, so she be honest, I could easily bear it; but this I cannot, I may not, I will not; "my faith, my fame, mine eye must not be touched," as the diverb is, _Non patitur tactum fama, fides, oculus._ I say the same of my wife, touch all, use all, take all but this. I acknowledge that of Seneca to be true, _Nullius boni jucunda possessio sine socio_, there is no sweet content in the possession of any good thing without a companion, this only excepted, I say, "This." And why this? Even this which thou so much abhorrest, it may be for thy progeny's good, [6188] better be any man's son than thine, to be begot of base Irus, poor Seius, or mean Mevius, the town swineherd's, a shepherd's son: and well is he, that like Hercules he hath any two fathers; for thou thyself hast peradventure more diseases than a horse, more infirmities of body and mind, a cankered soul, crabbed conditions, make the worst of it, as it is _vulnus insanabile, sic vulnus insensibile_, as it is incurable, so it is insensible. But art thou sure it is so? [6189]_res agit ille tuas_? "doth he so indeed?" It may be thou art over-suspicious, and without a cause as some are: if it be _octimestris partus_, born at eight months, or like him, and him, they fondly suspect he got it; if she speak or laugh familiarly with such or such men, then presently she is naught with them; such is thy weakness; whereas charity, or a well-disposed mind, would interpret all unto the best. St. Francis, by chance seeing a friar familiarly kissing another man's wife, was so far from misconceiving it, that he presently kneeled down and thanked God there was so much charity left: but they on the other side will ascribe nothing to natural causes, indulge nothing to familiarity, mutual society, friendship: but out of a sinister suspicion, presently lock them close, watch them, thinking by those means to prevent all such inconveniences, that's the way to help it; whereas by such tricks they do aggravate the mischief. 'Tis but in vain to watch that which will away. [6190] "Nec custodiri si velit ulla potest; Nec mentem servare potes, licet omnia serves; Omnibus exclusis, intus adulter erit." "None can be kept resisting for her part; Though body be kept close, within her heart Advoutry lurks, t'exclude it there's no art." Argus with a hundred eyes cannot keep her, _et hunc unus saepe fefellit amor_, as in [6191]Ariosto, "If all our hearts were eyes, yet sure they said We husbands of our wives should be betrayed." Hierome holds, _Uxor impudica servari non potest, pudica non debet, infida custos castitatis est necessitas_, to what end is all your custody? A dishonest woman cannot be kept, an honest woman ought not to be kept, necessity is a keeper not to be trusted. _Difficile custoditur, quod plures amant_; that which many covet, can hardly be preserved, as [6192] Salisburiensis thinks. I am of Aeneas Sylvius' mind, [6193]"Those jealous Italians do very ill to lock up their wives; for women are of such a disposition, they will most covet that which is denied most, and offend least when they have free liberty to trespass." It is in vain to lock her up if she be dishonest; _et tyrranicum imperium_, as our great Mr. Aristotle calls it, too tyrannical a task, most unfit: for when she perceives her husband observes her and suspects, _liberius peccat_, saith [6194]Nevisanus. [6195]_Toxica Zelotypo dedit uxor moecha marito_, she is exasperated, seeks by all means to vindicate herself, and will therefore offend, because she is unjustly suspected. The best course then is to let them have their own wills, give them free liberty, without any keeping. "In vain our friends from this do us dehort, For beauty will be where is most resort." If she be honest as Lucretia to Collatinus, Laodamia to Protesilaus, Penelope to her Ulysses, she will so continue her honour, good name, credit, _Penelope conjux semper Ulyssis ero_; "I shall always be Penelope the wife of Ulysses." And as Phocias' wife in [6196]Plutarch, called her husband "her wealth, treasure, world, joy, delight, orb and sphere," she will hers. The vow she made unto her good man; love, virtue, religion, zeal, are better keepers than all those locks, eunuchs, prisons; she will not be moved: [6197] "At mihi vel tellus optem prius ima dehiscat, Aut pater omnipotens adigat me fulmine ad umbras, Pallentes umbras Erebi, noctemque profundam, Ante pudor quam te violem, aut tua jura resolvam." "First I desire the earth to swallow me. Before I violate mine honesty, Or thunder from above drive me to hell, With those pale ghosts, and ugly nights to dwell." She is resolved with Dido to be chaste; though her husband be false, she will be true: and as Octavia writ to her Antony, [6198] "These walls that here do keep me out of sight, Shall keep me all unspotted unto thee, And testify that I will do thee right, I'll never stain thine house, though thou shame me." Turn her loose to all those Tarquins and Satyrs, she will not be tempted. In the time of Valence the Emperor, saith [6199]St. Austin, one Archidamus, a Consul of Antioch, offered a hundred pounds of gold to a fair young wife, and besides to set her husband free, who was then _sub gravissima custodia_, a dark prisoner, _pro unius noctis concubitu_: but the chaste matron would not accept of it. [6200]When Ode commended Theana's fine arm to his fellows, she took him up short, "Sir, 'tis not common:" she is wholly reserved to her husband. [6201]Bilia had an old man to her spouse, and his breath stunk, so that nobody could abide it abroad; "coming home one day he reprehended his wife, because she did not tell him of it: she vowed unto him, she had told him, but she thought every man's breath had been as strong as his." [6202]Tigranes and Armena his lady were invited to supper by King Cyrus: when they came home, Tigranes asked his wife, how she liked Cyrus, and what she did especially commend in him? "she swore she did not observe him; when he replied again, what then she did observe, whom she looked on? She made answer, her husband, that said he would die for her sake." Such are the properties and conditions of good women: and if she be well given, she will so carry herself; if otherwise she be naught, use all the means thou canst, she will be naught, _Non deest animus sed corruptor_, she hath so many lies, excuses, as a hare hath muses, tricks, panders, bawds, shifts, to deceive, 'tis to no purpose to keep her up, or to reclaim her by hard usage. "Fair means peradventure may do somewhat." [6203] _Obsequio vinces aptius ipse tuo._ Men and women are both in a predicament in this behalf, no sooner won, and better pacified. _Duci volunt, non cogi_: though she be as arrant a scold as Xanthippe, as cruel as Medea, as clamorous as Hecuba, as lustful as Messalina, by such means (if at all) she may be reformed. Many patient [6204]Grizels, by their obsequiousness in this kind, have reclaimed their husbands from their wandering lusts. In Nova Francia and Turkey (as Leah, Rachel, and Sarah did to Abraham and Jacob) they bring their fairest damsels to their husbands' beds; Livia seconded the lustful appetites of Augustus: Stratonice, wife to King Diotarus, did not only bring Electra, a fair maid, to her good man's bed, but brought up the children begot on her, as carefully as if they had been her own. Tertius Emilius' wife, Cornelia's mother, perceiving her husband's intemperance, _rem dissimulavit_, made much of the maid, and would take no notice of it. A new-married man, when a pickthank friend of his, to curry favour, had showed him his wife familiar in private with a young gallant, courting and dallying, &c. Tush, said he, let him do his worst, I dare trust my wife, though I dare not trust him. The best remedy then is by fair means; if that will not take place, to dissemble it as I say, or turn it off with a jest: hear Guexerra's advice in this case, _vel joco excipies, vel silentio eludes_; for if you take exceptions at everything your wife doth, Solomon's wisdom, Hercules' valour, Homer's learning, Socrates' patience, Argus' vigilance, will not serve turn. Therefore _Minus malum_, [6205]a less mischief, Nevisanus holds, _dissimulare_, to be [6206]_Cunarum emptor_, a buyer of cradles, as the proverb is, than to be too solicitous. [6207]"A good fellow, when his wife was brought to bed before her time, bought half a dozen of cradles beforehand for so many children, as if his wife should continue to bear children every two months." [6208]Pertinax the Emperor, when one told him a fiddler was too familiar with his empress, made no reckoning of it. And when that Macedonian Philip was upbraided with his wife's dishonesty, _cum tot victor regnorum ac populorum esset_, &c., a conqueror of kingdoms could not tame his wife (for she thrust him out of doors), he made a jest of it. _Sapientes portant cornua in pectore, stulti in fronte_, saith Nevisanus, wise men bear their horns in their hearts, fools on their foreheads. Eumenes, king of Pergamus, was at deadly feud with Perseus of Macedonia, insomuch that Perseus hearing of a journey he was to take to Delphos, [6209]set a company of soldiers to intercept him in his passage; they did it accordingly, and as they supposed left him stoned to death. The news of this fact was brought instantly to Pergamus; Attalus, Eumenes' brother, proclaimed himself king forthwith, took possession of the crown, and married Stratonice the queen. But by-and-by, when contrary news was brought, that King Eumenes was alive, and now coming to the city, he laid by his crown, left his wife, as a private man went to meet him, and congratulate his return. Eumenes, though he knew all particulars passed, yet dissembling the matter, kindly embraced his brother, and took his wife into his favour again, as if on such matter had been heard of or done. Jocundo, in Ariosto, found his wife in bed with a knave, both asleep, went his ways, and would not so much as wake them, much less reprove them for it. [6210]An honest fellow finding in like sort his wife had played false at tables, and borne a man too many, drew his dagger, and swore if he had not been his very friend, he would have killed him. Another hearing one had done that for him, which no man desires to be done by a deputy, followed in a rage with his sword drawn, and having overtaken him, laid adultery to his charge; the offender hotly pursued, confessed it was true; with which confession he was satisfied, and so left him, swearing that if he had denied it, he would not have put it up. How much better is it to do thus, than to macerate himself, impatiently to rave and rage, to enter an action (as Arnoldus Tilius did in the court of Toulouse, against Martin Guerre his fellow-soldier, for that he counterfeited his habit, and was too familiar with his wife), so to divulge his own shame, and to remain for ever a cuckold on record? how much better be Cornelius Tacitus than Publius Cornutus, to condemn in such cases, or take no notice of it? _Melius sic errare, quam Zelotypiae curis_, saith Erasmus, _se conficere_, better be a wittol and put it up, than to trouble himself to no purpose. And though he will not _omnibus dormire_, be an ass, as he is an ox, yet to wink at it as many do is not amiss at some times, in some cases, to some parties, if it be for his commodity, or some great man's sake, his landlord, patron, benefactor, (as Calbas the Roman saith [6211]Plutarch did by Maecenas, and Phayllus of Argos did by King Philip, when he promised him an office on that condition he might lie with his wife) and so let it pass: [6212] "pol me haud poenitet, Scilicet boni dimidium dividere cum Jove," "it never troubles me" (saith Amphitrio) "to be cornuted by Jupiter," let it not molest thee then; be friends with her; [6213] "Tu cum Alcmena uxore antiquam in gratiam Redi"------ "Receive Alcmena to your grace again;" let it, I say, make no breach of love between you. Howsoever the best way is to contemn it, which [6214]Henry II. king of Ft he is of no account, a mere coward, not worthy the name of a soldier, that is not a notorious whoremaster." In Italy he is not a gentleman...all »t he is of no account, a mere coward, not worthy the name of a soldier, that is not a notorious whoremaster." In Italy he is not a gentleman, that besides his wife hath not a courtesan and a mistress. 'Tis no marvel, then, if poor women in such cases be jealous, when they shall see themselves manifestly neglected, contemned, loathed, unkindly used: their disloyal husbands to entertain others in their rooms, and many times to court ladies to their faces: other men's wives to wear their jewels: how shall a poor woman in such a case moderate her passion? [6091]_Quis tibi nunc Dido cernenti talia sensus_? How, on the other side, shall a poor man contain himself from this feral malady, when he shall see so manifest signs of his wife's inconstancy? when, as Milo's wife, she dotes upon every young man she sees, or, as [6092]Martial's Sota,--_deserto sequitur Clitum marito_, "deserts her husband and follows Clitus." Though her husband be proper and tall, fair and lovely to behold, able to give contentment to any one woman, yet she will taste of the forbidden fruit: Juvenal's Iberina to a hair, she is as well pleased with one eye as one man. If a young gallant come by chance into her presence, a fastidious brisk, that can wear his clothes well in fashion, with a lock, jingling spur, a feather, that can cringe, and withal compliment, court a gentlewoman, she raves upon him, "O what a lovely proper man he was," another Hector, an Alexander, a goodly man, a demigod, how sweetly he carried himself, with how comely a grace, _sic oculos, sic ille manus, sic ora ferebat_, how neatly he did wear his clothes! [6093] _Quam sese ore ferens, quam forti pectore et armis_, how bravely did he discourse, ride, sing, and dance, &c., and then she begins to loathe her husband, _repugnans osculatur_, to hate him and his filthy beard, his goatish complexion, as Doris said of Polyphemus, [6094]_totus qui saniem, totus ut hircus olet_, he is a rammy fulsome fellow, a goblin-faced fellow, he smells, he stinks, _Et caepas simul alliumque ructat_ [6095]--_si quando ad thalamum_, &c., how like a dizzard, a fool, an ass, he looks, how like a clown he behaves himself! [6096]she will not come near him by her own good will, but wholly rejects him, as Venus did her fuliginous Vulcan, at last, _Nec Deus hunc mensa, Dea nec dignata cubili est_. [6097]So did Lucretia, a lady of Senae, after she had but seen Euryalus, _in Eurialum tota ferebatur, domum reversa_, &c., she would not hold her eyes off him in his presence,-- [6098]_tantum egregio decus enitet ore_, and in his absence could think of none but him, _odit virum_, she loathed her husband forthwith, might not abide him: [6099] "Et conjugalis negligens tori, viro Praesente, acerbo nauseat fastidio;" "All against the laws of matrimony, She did abhor her husband's phis'nomy;" and sought all opportunity to see her sweetheart again. Now when the good man shall observe his wife so lightly given, "to be so free and familiar with every gallant, her immodesty and wantonness," (as [6100]Camerarius notes) it must needs yield matter of suspicion to him, when she still pranks up herself beyond her means and fortunes, makes impertinent journeys, unnecessary visitations, stays out so long, with such and such companions, so frequently goes to plays, masks, feasts, and all public meetings, shall use such immodest [6101]gestures, free speeches, and withal show some distaste of her own husband; how can he choose, "though he were another Socrates, but be suspicious, and instantly jealous?" [6102] _Socraticas tandem faciet transcendere metas_; more especially when he shall take notice of their more secret and sly tricks, which to cornute their husbands they commonly use (_dum ludis, ludos haec te facit_) they pretend love, honour, chastity, and seem to respect them before all men living, saints in show, so cunningly can they dissemble, they will not so much as look upon another man in his presence, [6103]so chaste, so religious, and so devout, they cannot endure the name or sight of a quean, a harlot, out upon her! and in their outward carriage are most loving and officious, will kiss their husband, and hang about his neck (dear husband, sweet husband), and with a composed countenance salute him, especially when he comes home; or if he go from home, weep, sigh, lament, and take upon them to be sick and swoon (like Jocundo's wife in [6104]Ariosto, when her husband was to depart), and yet arrant, &c. they care not for him, "Aye me, the thought (quoth she) makes me so 'fraid, That scarce the breath abideth in my breast; Peace, my sweet love and wife, Jocundo said, And weeps as fast, and comforts her his best, &c. All this might not assuage the woman's pain, Needs must I die before you come again, Nor how to keep my life I can devise, The doleful days and nights I shall sustain, From meat my mouth, from sleep will keep mine eyes, &c. That very night that went before the morrow, That he had pointed surely to depart, Jocundo's wife was sick, and swoon'd for sorrow Amid his arms, so heavy was her heart." And yet for all these counterfeit tears and protestations, Jocundo coming back in all haste for a jewel he had forgot, "His chaste and yoke-fellow he found Yok'd with a knave, all honesty neglected, The adulterer sleeping very sound, Yet by his face was easily detected: A beggar's brat bred by him from his cradle., And now was riding on his master's saddle." Thus can they cunningly counterfeit, as [6105]Platina describes their customs, "kiss their husbands, whom they had rather see hanging on a gallows, and swear they love him dearer than their own lives, whose soul they would not ransom for their little dog's," ------"similis si permutatio detur, Morte viri cupiunt aniniani servare catellae." Many of them seem to be precise and holy forsooth, and will go to such a [6106]church, to hear such a good man by all means, an excellent man, when 'tis for no other intent (as he follows it) than "to see and to be seen, to observe what fashions are in use, to meet some pander, bawd, monk, friar, or to entice some good fellow." For they persuade themselves, as [6107] Nevisanus shows, "That it is neither sin nor shame to lie with a lord or parish priest, if he be a proper man;" [6108]"and though she kneel often, and pray devoutly, 'tis" (saith Platina) "not for her husband's welfare, or children's good, or any friend, but for her sweetheart's return, her pander's health." If her husband would have her go, she feigns herself sick, [6109]_Et simulat subito condoluisse caput_: her head aches, and she cannot stir: but if her paramour ask as much, she is for him in all seasons, at all hours of the night. [6110]In the kingdom of Malabar, and about Goa in the East Indies, the women are so subtile that, with a certain drink they give them to drive away cares as they say, [6111]"they will make them sleep for twenty-four hours, or so intoxicate them that they can remember nought of that they saw done, or heard, and, by washing of their feet, restore them again, and so make their husbands cuckolds to their faces." Some are ill-disposed at all times, to all persons they like, others more wary to some few, at such and such seasons, as Augusta, Livia, _non nisi plena navi vectorem tollebat_. But as he said, [6112] "No pen could write, no tongue attain to tell, By force of eloquence, or help of art, Of women's treacheries the hundredth part." Both, to say truth, are often faulty; men and women give just occasions in this humour of discontent, aggravate and yield matter of suspicion: but most part of the chief causes proceed from other adventitious accidents and circumstances, though the parties be free, and both well given themselves. The indiscreet carriage of some lascivious gallant (_et e contra_ of some light woman) by his often frequenting of a house, bold unseemly gestures, may make a breach, and by his over-familiarity, if he be inclined to yellowness, colour him quite out. If he be poor, basely born, saith Beneditto Varchi, and otherwise unhandsome, he suspects him the less; but if a proper man, such as was Alcibiades in Greece, and Castruccius Castrucanus in Italy, well descended, commendable for his good parts, he taketh on the more, and watcheth his doings. [6113]Theodosius the emperor gave his wife Eudoxia a golden apple when he was a suitor to her, which she long after bestowed upon a young gallant in the court, of her especial acquaintance. The emperor, espying this apple in his hand, suspected forthwith, more than was, his wife's dishonesty, banished him the court, and from that day following forbare to accompany her any more. [6114]A rich merchant had a fair wife; according to his custom he went to travel; in his absence a good fellow tempted his wife; she denied him; yet he, dying a little after, gave her a legacy for the love he bore her. At his return, her jealous husband, because she had got more by land than he had done at sea, turned her away upon suspicion. Now when those other circumstances of time and place, opportunity and importunity shall concur, what will they not effect? "Fair opportunity can win the coyest she that is, So wisely he takes time, as he'll be sure he will not miss: Then lie that loves her gamesome vein, and tempers toys with art, Brings love that swimmeth in her eyes to dive into her heart." As at plays, masks, great feasts and banquets, one singles out his wife to dance, another courts her in his presence, a third tempts her, a fourth insinuates with a pleasing compliment, a sweet smile, ingratiates himself with an amphibological speech, as that merry companion in the [6115] Satirist did to his Glycerium, [6116]_adsidens et interiorem palmam amabiliter concutiens_, "Quod meus hortus habet sumat impune licebit, Si dederis nobis quod tuus hortus habet;" with many such, &c., and then as he saith, [6117] _She may no while in chastity abide. That is assaid on every side_. For after al great feast, [6118]_Vino saepe suum nescit amica virum_. Noah (saith [6119]Hierome) "showed his nakedness in his drunkenness, which for six hundred years he had covered in soberness." Lot lay with his daughters in his drink, as Cyneras with Myrrha,--[6120]_quid enim Venus ebria curat_? The most continent may be overcome, or if otherwise they keep bad company, they that are modest of themselves, and dare not offend, "confirmed by [6121]others, grow impudent, and confident, and get an ill habit." [6122] "Alia quaestus gratia matrimonium corrumpit, Alia peccans multas vult morbi habere socias." Or if they dwell in suspected places, as in an infamous inn, near some stews, near monks, friars, Nevisanus adds, where be many tempters and solicitors, idle persons that frequent their companies, it may give just cause of suspicion. Martial of old inveighed against them that counterfeited a disease to go to the bath; for so, many times, ------"relicto Conjuge Penelope venit, abit Helene." Aeneas Sylvius puts in a caveat against princes' courts, because there be _tot formosi juvenes qui promittunt_, so many brave suitors to tempt, &c. [6123]"If you leave her in such a place, you shall likely find her in company you like not, either they come to her, or she is gone to them." [6124]Kornmannus makes a doubting jest in his lascivious country, _Virginis illibata censeatur ne castitas ad quam frequentur accedant scholares_? And Baldus the lawyer scoffs on, _quum scholaris, inquit, loquitur cum puella, non praesumitur ei dicere, Pater noster_, when a scholar talks with a maid, or another man's wife in private, it is presumed he saith not a _pater noster_. Or if I shall see a monk or a friar climb up a ladder at midnight into a virgin's or widow's chamber window, I shall hardly think he then goes to administer the sacraments, or to take her confession. These are the ordinary causes of jealousy, which are intended or remitted as the circumstances vary. MEMB. II. _Symptoms of Jealousy, Fear, Sorrow, Suspicion, strange Actions, Gestures, Outrages, Locking up, Oaths, Trials, Laws, &c._ Of all passions, as I have already proved, love is most violent, and of those bitter potions which this love-melancholy affords, this bastard jealousy is the greatest, as appears by those prodigious symptoms which it hath, and that it produceth. For besides fear and sorrow, which is common to all melancholy, anxiety of mind, suspicion, aggravation, restless thoughts, paleness, meagreness, neglect of business, and the like, these men are farther yet misaffected, and in a higher strain. 'Tis a more vehement passion, a more furious perturbation, a bitter pain, a fire, a pernicious curiosity, a gall corrupting the honey of our life, madness, vertigo, plague, hell, they are more than ordinarily disquieted, they lose _bonum pacis_, as [6125]Chrysostom observes; and though they be rich, keep sumptuous tables, be nobly allied, yet _miserrimi omnium sunt_, they are most miserable, they are more than ordinarily discontent, more sad, _nihil tristius_, more than ordinarily suspicious. Jealousy, saith [6126]Vives, "begets unquietness in the mind, night and day: he hunts after every word he hears, every whisper, and amplifies it to himself" (as all melancholy men do in other matters) "with a most unjust calumny of others, he misinterprets everything is said or done, most apt to mistake or misconstrue," he pries into every corner, follows close, observes to a hair. 'Tis proper to jealousy so to do, "Pale hag, infernal fury, pleasure's smart, Envy's observer, prying in every part." Besides those strange gestures of staring, frowning, grinning, rolling of eyes, menacing, ghastly looks, broken pace, interrupt, precipitate, half-turns. He will sometimes sigh, weep, sob for anger. _Nempe suos imbres etiam ista tonitrua fundunt_,[6127]--swear and belie, slander any man, curse, threaten, brawl, scold, fight; and sometimes again flatter and speak fair, ask forgiveness, kiss and coll, condemn his rashness and folly, vow, protest, and swear he will never do so again; and then eftsoons, impatient as he is, rave, roar, and lay about him like a madman, thump her sides, drag her about perchance, drive her out of doors, send her home, he will be divorced forthwith, she is a whore, &c., and by-and-by with all submission compliment, entreat her fair, and bring her in again, he loves her dearly, she is his sweet, most kind and loving wife, he will not change, nor leave her for a kingdom; so he continues off and on, as the toy takes him, the object moves him, but most part brawling, fretting, unquiet he is, accusing and suspecting not strangers only, but brothers and sisters, father and mother, nearest and dearest friends. He thinks with those Italians, "Chi non tocca parentado, Tocca mai e rado." And through fear conceives unto himself things almost incredible and impossible to be effected. As a heron when she fishes, still prying on all sides; or as a cat doth a mouse, his eye is never off hers; he gloats on him, on her, accurately observing on whom she looks, who looks at her, what she saith, doth, at dinner, at supper, sitting, walking, at home, abroad, he is the same, still inquiring, maundering, gazing, listening, affrighted with every small object; why did she smile, why did she pity him, commend him? why did she drink twice to such a man? why did she offer to kiss, to dance? &c., a whore, a whore, an arrant whore. All this he confesseth in the poet, [6128] "Omnia me terrent, timidus sum, ignosce timori. Et miser in tunica suspicor esse virum. Me laedit si multa tibi dabit oscula mater, Me soror, et cum qua dormit amica simul." "Each thing affrights me, I do fear, Ah pardon me my fear, I doubt a man is hid within The clothes that thou dost wear." Is it not a man in woman's apparel? is not somebody in that great chest, or behind the door, or hangings, or in some of those barrels? may not a man steal in at the window with a ladder of ropes, or come down the chimney, have a false key, or get in when he is asleep? If a mouse do but stir, or the wind blow, a casement clatter, that's the villain, there he is: by his goodwill no man shall see her, salute her, speak with her, she shall not go forth of his sight, so much as to do her needs. [6129]_Non ita bovem argus_, &c. Argus did not so keep his cow, that watchful dragon the golden fleece, or Cerberus the coming in of hell, as he keeps his wife. If a dear friend or near kinsman come as guest to his house, to visit him, he will never let him be out of his own sight and company, lest, peradventure, &c. If the necessity of his business be such that he must go from home, he doth either lock her up, or commit her with a deal of injunctions and protestations to some trusty friends, him and her he sets and bribes to oversee: one servant is set in his absence to watch another, and all to observe his wife, and yet all this will not serve, though his business be very urgent, he will when he is halfway come back in all post haste, rise from supper, or at midnight, and be gone, and sometimes leave his business undone, and as a stranger court his own wife in some disguised habit. Though there be no danger at all, no cause of suspicion, she live in such a place, where Messalina herself could not be dishonest if she would, yet he suspects her as much as if she were in a bawdy-house, some prince's court, or in a common inn, where all comers might have free access. He calls her on a sudden all to nought, she is a strumpet, a light housewife, a bitch, an arrant whore. No persuasion, no protestation can divert this passion, nothing can ease him, secure or give him satisfaction. It is most strange to report what outrageous acts by men and women have been committed in this kind, by women especially, that will run after their husbands into all places and companies, [6130]as Jovianus Pontanus's wife did by him, follow him whithersoever he went, it matters not, or upon what business, raving like Juno in the tragedy, miscalling, cursing, swearing, and mistrusting every one she sees. Gomesius in his third book of the Life and Deeds of Francis Ximenius, sometime archbishop of Toledo, hath a strange story of that incredible jealousy of Joan queen of Spain, wife to King Philip, mother of Ferdinand and Charles the Fifth, emperors; when her husband Philip, either for that he was tired with his wife's jealousy, or had some great business, went into the Low Countries: she was so impatient and melancholy upon his departure, that she would scarce eat her meat, or converse with any man; and though she were with child, the season of the year very bad, the wind against her, in all haste she would to sea after him. Neither Isabella her queen mother, the archbishop, or any other friend could persuade her to the contrary, but she would after him. When she was now come into the Low Countries, and kindly entertained by her husband, she could not contain herself, [6131]"but in a rage ran upon a yellow-haired wench," with whom she suspected her husband to be naught, "cut off her hair, did beat her black and blue, and so dragged her about." It is an ordinary thing for women in such cases to scratch the faces, slit the noses of such as they suspect; as Henry the Second's importune Juno did by Rosamond at Woodstock; for she complains in a [6132]modern poet, she scarce spake, "But flies with eager fury to my face, Offering me most unwomanly disgrace. Look how a tigress, &c. So fell she on me in outrageous wise, As could disdain and jealousy devise." Or if it be so they dare not or cannot execute any such tyrannical injustice, they will miscall, rail and revile, bear them deadly hate and malice, as [6133]Tacitus observes, "The hatred of a jealous woman is inseparable against such as she suspects." [6134] "Nulla vis flammae tumidique venti Tanta, nec teli metuanda torti. Quanta cum conjux viduata taedis Ardet et odit." "Winds, weapons, flames make not such hurly burly, As raving women turn all topsy-turvy." So did Agrippina by Lollia, and Calphurnia in the days of Claudius. But women are sufficiently curbed in such cases, the rage of men is more eminent, and frequently put in practice. See but with what rigour those jealous husbands tyrannise over their poor wives. In Greece, Spain, Italy, Turkey, Africa, Asia, and generally over all those hot countries, [6135] _Mulieres vestrae terra vestra, arate sicut vultis_. Mahomet in his Alcoran gives this power to men, your wives are as your land, till them, use them, entreat them fair or foul, as you will yourselves. [6136]_Mecastor lege dura vivunt mulieres_, they lock them still in their houses, which are so many prisons to them. will suffer nobody to come at them, or their wives to be seen abroad,--_nec campos liceat lustrare patentes_. They must not so much as look out. And if they be great persons, they have eunuchs to keep them, as the Grand Signior among the Turks, the Sophies of Persia, those Tartarian Mogors, and Kings of China. _Infantes masculos castrant innumeros ut regi serviant_, saith [6137]Riccius, "they geld innumerable infants" to this purpose; the King of [6138]China "maintains 10,000 eunuchs in his family to keep his wives." The Xeriffes of Barbary keep their courtesans in such a strict manner, that if any man come but in sight of them he dies for it; and if they chance to see a man, and do not instantly cry out, though from their windows, they must be put to death. The Turks have I know not how many black, deformed eunuchs (for the white serve for other ministeries) to this purpose sent commonly from Egypt, deprived in their childhood of all their privities, and brought up in the seraglio at Constantinople to keep their wives; which are so penned up they may not confer with any living man, or converse with younger women, have a cucumber or carrot sent into them for their diet, but sliced, for fear, &c. and so live and are left alone to their unchaste thoughts all the days of their lives. The vulgar sort of women, if at any time they come abroad, which is very seldom, to visit one another, or to go to their baths, are so covered, that no man can see them, as the matrons were in old Rome, _lectica aut sella tecta, vectae_, so [6139]Dion and Seneca record, _Velatae totae incedunt_, which [6140]Alexander ab Alexandro relates of the Parthians, _lib. 5. cap. 24._ which, with Andreas Tiraquellus his commentator, I rather think should be understood of Persians. I have not yet said all, they do not only lock them up, _sed et pudendis seras adhibent_: hear what Bembus relates _lib. 6._ of his Venetian history, of those inhabitants that dwell about Quilon in Africa. _Lusitani, inquit, quorundum civitates adierunt: qui natis statim faeminis naturam consuunt, quoad urinae exitus ne impediatur, easque quum adoleverint sic consutas in matrimonium collocant, ut sponsi prima cura sit conglutinatas puellae oras ferro interscindere_. In some parts of Greece at this day, like those old Jews, they will not believe their wives are honest, _nisi pannum menstruatum prima nocte videant_: our countryman [6141]Sands, in his peregrination, saith it is severely observed in Zanzynthus, or Zante; and Leo Afer in his time at Fez, in Africa, _non credunt virginem esse nisi videant sanguineam mappam; si non, ad parentes pudore rejicitur_. Those sheets are publicly shown by their parents, and kept as a sign of incorrupt virginity. The Jews of old examined their maids _ex tenui membrana_, called Hymen, which Laurentius in his anatomy, Columbus _lib. 12. cap. 10._ Capivaccius _lib. 4. cap. 11. de uteri affectibus_, Vincent, Alsarus Genuensis _quaesit. med. cent. 4._ Hieronymus Mercurialis _consult._ Ambros. Pareus, Julius Caesar Claudinus _Respons. 4._ as that also _de [6142]ruptura venarum ut sauguis fluat_, copiously confute; 'tis no sufficient trial they contend. And yet others again defend it, Gaspar Bartholinus _Institut. Anat. lib. 1. cap. 31._ Pinaeus of Paris, Albertus Magnus _de secret. mulier. cap. 9 & 10._ &c. and think they speak too much in favour of women. [6143] Ludovicus Boncialus _lib. 4. cap. 2. muliebr._ _naturalem illam uteri labiorum constrictionem, in qua virginitatem consistere volunt, astringentibus medicinis fieri posse vendicat, et si defloratae sint, astutae [6144]mulieres (inquit) nos fallunt in his. Idem Alsarius Crucius Genuensis iisdem fere verbis_. Idem Avicenna _lib. 3. Fen. 20. Tract. 1, cap. 47._ [6145]Rhasis _Continent. lib. 24._ Rodericus a Castro _de nat. mul. lib. 1. cap. 3._ An old bawdy nurse in [6146]Aristaenetus, (like that Spanish Caelestina, [6147]_quae, quinque mille virgines fecit mulieres, totidemque mulieres arte sua virgines_) when a fair maid of her acquaintance wept and made her moan to her, how she had been deflowered, and now ready to be married, was afraid it would be perceived, comfortably replied, _Noli vereri filia_, &c. "Fear not, daughter, I'll teach thee a trick to help it." _Sed haec extra callem._ To what end are all those astrological questions, _an sit virgo, an sit casta, an sit mulier_? and such strange absurd trials in Albertus Magnus, Bap. Porta, _Mag. lib. 2. cap. 21._ in Wecker. _lib. 5. de secret_, by stones, perfumes, to make them piss, and confess I know not what in their sleep; some jealous brain was the first founder of them. And to what passion may we ascribe those severe laws against jealousy, Num. v. 14, Adulterers Deut. cap. 22. v. xxii. as amongst the Hebrews, amongst the Egyptians (read [6148]Bohemus _l. 1. c. 5. de mor. gen._ of the Carthaginians, _cap. 6._ of Turks, _lib. 2. cap. 11._) amongst the Athenians of old, Italians at this day, wherein they are to be severely punished, cut in pieces, burned, _vivi-comburio_, buried alive, with several expurgations, &c. are they not as so many symptoms of incredible jealousy? we may say the same of those vestal virgins that fetched water in a sieve, as Tatia did in Rome, _anno ab. urb. condita 800._ before the senators; and [6149]Aemilia, _virgo innocens_, that ran over hot irons, as Emma, Edward the Confessor's mother did, the king himself being a spectator, with the like. We read in Nicephorus, that Chunegunda the wife of Henricus Bavarus emperor, suspected of adultery, _insimulata adulterii per ignitos vomeres illaesa transiit_, trod upon red hot coulters, and had no harm: such another story we find in Regino _lib. 2._ In Aventinus and Sigonius of Charles the Third and his wife Richarda, _an._ 887, that was so purged with hot irons. Pausanias saith, that he was once an eyewitness of such a miracle at Diana's temple, a maid without any harm at all walked upon burning coals. Pius Secund. in his description of Europe, _c. 46._ relates as much, that it was commonly practised at Diana's temple, for women to go barefoot over hot coals, to try their honesties: Plinius, Solinus, and many writers, make mention of [6150]Geronia's temple, and Dionysius Halicarnassus, _lib. 3._ of Memnon's statue, which were used to this purpose. Tatius _lib. 6._ of Pan his cave, (much like old St. Wilfrid's needle in Yorkshire) wherein they did use to try, maids, [6151]whether they were honest; when Leucippe went in, _suavissimus exaudiri sonus caepit_ Austin _de civ. Dei lib. 10. c. 16._ relates many such examples, all which Lavater _de spectr. part. 1. cap. 19_ contends to be done by the illusion of devils; though Thomas _quaest. 6. de polentia_, &c. ascribes it to good angels. Some, saith [6152]Austin, compel their wives to swear they be honest, as if perjury were a lesser sin than adultery; [6153]some consult oracles, as Phaerus that blind king of Egypt. Others reward, as those old Romans used to do; if a woman were contented with one man, _Corona pudicitiae donabatur_, she had a crown of chastity bestowed on her. When all this will not serve, saith Alexander Gaguinus, _cap. 5. descript. Muscoviae_, the Muscovites, if they suspect their wives, will beat them till they confess, and if that will not avail, like those wild Irish, be divorced at their pleasures, or else knock them on the heads, as the old [6154]Gauls have done in former ages. Of this tyranny of jealousy read more in Parthenius _Erot. cap. 10._ Camerarius _cap. 53. hor. subcis. et cent. 2. cap. 34._ Caelia's epistles, Tho. Chaloner _de repub. Aug. lib. 9._ Ariosto _lib. 31. stasse 1._ Felix Platerus _observat. lib. 1._ &c. MEMB. III. _Prognostics of Jealousy. Despair, Madness, to make away themselves and others_. Those which are jealous, most part, if they be not otherwise relieved, [6155]"proceed from suspicion to hatred, from hatred to frenzy, madness, injury, murder and despair." [6156] "A plague by whose most damnable effect. Divers in deep despair to die have sought, By which a man to madness near is brought, As well with causeless as with just suspect." In their madness many times, saith [6157]Vives, they make away themselves and others. Which induceth Cyprian to call it, _Foecundam et multiplicem perniciem, fontem cladium et seminarium delictorum_, a fruitful mischief, the seminary of offences, and fountain of murders. Tragical examples are too common in this kind, both new and old, in all ages, as of [6158] Cephalus and Procris, [6159]Phaereus of Egypt, Tereus, Atreus, and Thyestes. [6160]Alexander Phaereus was murdered of his wife, _ob pellicatus suspitionem_, Tully saith. Antoninus Verus was so made away by Lucilla; Demetrius the son of Antigonus, and Nicanor, by their wives. Hercules poisoned by Dejanira, [6161]Caecinna murdered by Vespasian, Justina, a Roman lady, by her husband. [6162]Amestris, Xerxes' wife, because she found her husband's cloak in Masista's house, cut off Masista, his wife's paps, and gave them to the dogs, flayed her besides, and cut off her ears, lips, tongue, and slit the nose of Artaynta her daughter. Our late writers are full of such outrages. [6163]Paulus Aemilius, in his history of France, hath a tragical story of Chilpericus the First his death, made away by Ferdegunde his queen. In a jealous humour he came from hunting, and stole behind his wife, as she was dressing and combing her head in the sun, gave her a familiar touch with his wand, which she mistaking for her lover, said, "Ah Landre, a good knight should strike before, and not behind:" but when she saw herself betrayed by his presence, she instantly took order to make him away. Hierome Osorius, in his eleventh book of the deeds of Emanuel King of Portugal, to this effect hath a tragical narration of one Ferdinandus Chalderia, that wounded Gotherinus, a noble countryman of his, at Goa in the East Indies, [6164]"and cut off one of his legs, for that he looked as he thought too familiarly upon his wife, which was afterwards a cause of many quarrels, and much bloodshed." Guianerius _cap. 36. de aegritud. matr._ speaks of a silly jealous fellow, that seeing his child new-born included in a caul, thought sure a [6165]Franciscan that used to come to his house, was the father of it, it was so like the friar's cowl, and thereupon threatened the friar to kill him: Fulgosus of a woman in Narbonne, that cut off her husband's privities in the night, because she thought he played false with her. The story of Jonuses Bassa, and fair Manto his wife, is well known to such as have read the Turkish history; and that of Joan of Spain, of which I treated in my former section. Her jealousy, saith Gomesius, was the cause of both their deaths: King Philip died for grief a little after, as [6166]Martian his physician gave it out, "and she for her part after a melancholy discontented life, misspent in lurking-holes and corners, made an end of her miseries." Felix Plater, in the first book of his observations, hath many such instances, of a physician of his acquaintance, [6167]"that was first mad through jealousy, and afterwards desperate:" of a merchant [6168]"that killed his wife in the same humour, and after precipitated himself:" of a doctor of law that cut off his man's nose: of a painter's wife in Basil, anno 1600, that was mother of nine children and had been twenty-seven years married, yet afterwards jealous, and so impatient that she became desperate, and would neither eat nor drink in her own house, for fear her husband should poison her. 'Tis a common sign this; for when once the humours are stirred, and the imagination misaffected, it will vary itself in divers forms; and many such absurd symptoms will accompany, even madness itself. Skenkius _observat. lib. 4. cap. de Uter._ hath an example of a jealous woman that by this means had many fits of the mother: and in his first book of some that through jealousy ran mad: of a baker that gelded himself to try his wife's honesty, &c. Such examples are too common. MEMB. IV. SUBSECT I.--_Cure of Jealousy; by avoiding occasions, not to be idle: of good counsel; to contemn it, not to watch or lock them up: to dissemble it, &c._ As of all other melancholy, some doubt whether this malady may be cured or no, they think 'tis like the [6169]gout, or Switzers, whom we commonly call Walloons, those hired soldiers, if once they take possession of a castle, they can never be got out. "Qui timet ut sua sit, ne quis sibi subtrahat illam, Ille Machaonia vix ope salvus est." [6170] "This is the cruel wound against whose smart, No liquor's force prevails, or any plaister, No skill of stars, no depth of magic art, Devised by that great clerk Zoroaster, A wound that so infects the soul and heart, As all our sense and reason it doth master; A wound whose pang and torment is so durable, As it may rightly called be incurable." Yet what I have formerly said of other melancholy, I will say again, it may be cured or mitigated at least by some contrary passion, good counsel and persuasion, if it be withstood in the beginning, maturely resisted, and as those ancients hold, [6171]"the nails of it be pared before they grow too long." No better means to resist or repel it than by avoiding idleness, to be still seriously busied about some matters of importance, to drive out those vain fears, foolish fantasies and irksome suspicions out of his head, and then to be persuaded by his judicious friends, to give ear to their good counsel and advice, and wisely to consider, how much he discredits himself, his friends, dishonours his children, disgraceth his family, publisheth his shame, and as a trumpeter of his own misery, divulgeth, macerates, grieves himself and others; what an argument of weakness it is, how absurd a thing in its own nature, how ridiculous, how brutish a passion, how sottish, how odious; for as [6172]Hierome well hath it, _Odium sui facit, et ipse novissime sibi odio est_, others hate him, and at last he hates himself for it; how harebrain a disease, mad and furious. If he will but hear them speak, no doubt he may be cured. [6173]Joan, queen of Spain, of whom I have formerly spoken, under pretence of changing air was sent to Complutum, or Alcada de las Heneras, where Ximenius the archbishop of Toledo then lived, that by his good counsel (as for the present she was) she might be eased. [6174]"For a disease of the soul, if concealed, tortures and overturns it, and by no physic can sooner be removed than by a discreet man's comfortable speeches." I will not here insert any consolatory sentences to this purpose, or forestall any man's invention, but leave it every one to dilate and amplify as he shall think fit in his own judgment: let him advise with Siracides _cap. 9. 1._ "Be not jealous over the wife of thy bosom;" read that comfortable and pithy speech to this purpose of Ximenius, in the author himself, as it is recorded by Gomesius; consult with Chaloner _lib. 9. de repub. Anglor._ or Caelia in her epistles, &c. Only this I will add, that if it be considered aright, which causeth this jealous passion, be it just or unjust, whether with or without cause, true or false, it ought not so heinously to be taken; 'tis no such real or capital matter, that it should make so deep a wound. 'Tis a blow that hurts not, an insensible smart, grounded many times upon false suspicion alone, and so fostered by a sinister conceit. If she be not dishonest, he troubles and macerates himself without a cause; or put case which is the worst, he be a cuckold, it cannot be helped, the more he stirs in it, the more he aggravates his own misery. How much better were it in such a case to dissemble or contemn it? why should that be feared which cannot be redressed? _multae tandem deposuerunt_ (saith [6175]Vives) _quum flecti maritos non posse vident_, many women, when they see there is no remedy, have been pacified; and shall men be more jealous than women? 'Tis some comfort in such a case to have companions, _Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris_; Who can say he is free? Who can assure himself he is not one _de praeterito_, or secure himself _de futuro_? If it were his case alone, it were hard; but being as it is almost a common calamity, 'tis not so grievously to be taken. If a man have a lock, which every man's key will open, as well as his own, why should he think to keep it private to himself? In some countries they make nothing of it, _ne nobiles quidem_, saith [6176]Leo Afer, in many parts of Africa (if she be past fourteen) there's not a nobleman that marries a maid, or that hath a chaste wife; 'tis so common; as the moon gives horns once a month to the world, do they to their husbands at least. And 'tis most part true which that Caledonian lady, [6177]Argetocovus, a British prince's wife, told Julia Augusta, when she took her up for dishonesty, "We Britons are naught at least with some few choice men of the better sort, but you Romans lie with every base knave, you are a company of common whores." Severus the emperor in his time made laws for the restraint of this vice; and as [6178]Dion Nicaeus relates in his life, _tria millia maechorum_, three thousand cuckold-makers, or _naturae monetam adulterantes_, as Philo calls them, false coiners, and clippers of nature's money, were summoned into the court at once. And yet, _Non omnem molitor quae fluit undam videt_, "the miller sees not all the water that goes by his mill:" no doubt, but, as in our days, these were of the commonalty, all the great ones were not so much as called in question for it. [6179]Martial's Epigram I suppose might have been generally applied in those licentious times, _Omnia solus habes_, &c., thy goods, lands, money, wits are thine own, _Uxorem sed habes Candide cum populo_; but neighbour Candidus your wife is common: husband and cuckold in that age it seems were reciprocal terms; the emperors themselves did wear Actaeon's badge; how many Caesars might I reckon up together, and what a catalogue of cornuted kings and princes in every story? Agamemnon, Menelaus, Philippus of Greece, Ptolomeus of Egypt, Lucullus, Caesar, Pompeius, Cato, Augustus, Antonius, Antoninus, &c., that wore fair plumes of bull's feathers in their crests. The bravest soldiers and most heroical spirits could not avoid it. They have been active and passive in this business, they have either given or taken horns. [6180]King Arthur, whom we call one of the nine worthies, for all his great valour, was unworthily served by Mordred, one of his round table knights: and Guithera, or Helena Alba, his fair wife, as Leland interprets it, was an arrant honest woman. _Parcerem libenter_ (saith mine [6181]author) _Heroinarum laesae majestati, si non historiae veritas aurem vellicaret_, I could willingly wink at a fair lady's faults, but that I am bound by the laws of history to tell the truth: against his will, God knows, did he write it, and so do I repeat it. I speak not of our times all this while, we have good, honest, virtuous men and women, whom fame, zeal, fear of God, religion and superstition contains: and yet for all that, we have many knights of this order, so dubbed by their wives, many good women abused by dissolute husbands. In some places, and such persons you may as soon enjoin them to carry water in a sieve, as to keep themselves honest. What shall a man do now in such a case? What remedy is to be had? how shall he be eased? By suing a divorce? this is hard to be effected: _si non caste, tamen caute_ they carry the matter so cunningly, that though it be as common as simony, as clear and as manifest as the nose in a man's face, yet it cannot be evidently proved, or they likely taken in the fact: they will have a knave Gallus to watch, or with that Roman [6182]Sulpitia, all made fast and sure, "Ne se Cadurcis destitutam fasciis, Nudam Caleno concumbentem videat." "she will hardly be surprised by her husband, be he never so wary." Much better then to put it up: the more he strives in it, the more he shall divulge his own shame: make a virtue of necessity, and conceal it. Yea, but the world takes notice of it, 'tis in every man's mouth: let them talk their pleasure, of whom speak they not in this sense? From the highest to the lowest they are thus censured all: there is no remedy then but patience. It may be 'tis his own fault, and he hath no reason to complain, 'tis _quid pro quo_, she is bad, he is worse: [6183]"Bethink thyself, hast thou not done as much for some of thy neighbours? why dost thou require that of thy wife, which thou wilt not perform thyself?" Thou rangest like a town bull, [6184]"why art thou so incensed if she tread, awry?" [6185] "Be it that some woman break chaste wedlock's laws, And leaves her husband and becomes unchaste: Yet commonly it is not without cause, She sees her man in sin her goods to waste, She feels that he his love from her withdraws, And hath on some perhaps less worthy placed. Who strike with sword, the scabbard them may strike, And sure love craveth love, like asketh like." _Ea semper studebit_, saith [6186]Nevisanus, _pares reddere vices_, she will quit it if she can. And therefore, as well adviseth Siracides, _cap. ix. 1._ "teach her not an evil lesson against thyself," which as Jansenius, Lyranus, on his text, and Carthusianus interpret, is no otherwise to be understood than that she do thee not a mischief. I do not excuse her in accusing thee; but if both be naught, mend thyself first; for as the old saying is, a good husband makes a good wife. Yea but thou repliest, 'tis not the like reason betwixt man and woman, through her fault my children are bastards, I may not endure it; [6187]_Sit amarulenta, sit imperiosa prodiga_, &c. Let her scold, brawl, and spend, I care not, _modo sit casta_, so she be honest, I could easily bear it; but this I cannot, I may not, I will not; "my faith, my fame, mine eye must not be touched," as the diverb is, _Non patitur tactum fama, fides, oculus._ I say the same of my wife, touch all, use all, take all but this. I acknowledge that of Seneca to be true, _Nullius boni jucunda possessio sine socio_, there is no sweet content in the possession of any good thing without a companion, this only excepted, I say, "This." And why this? Even this which thou so much abhorrest, it may be for thy progeny's good, [6188] better be any man's son than thine, to be begot of base Irus, poor Seius, or mean Mevius, the town swineherd's, a shepherd's son: and well is he, that like Hercules he hath any two fathers; for thou thyself hast peradventure more diseases than a horse, more infirmities of body and mind, a cankered soul, crabbed conditions, make the worst of it, as it is _vulnus insanabile, sic vulnus insensibile_, as it is incurable, so it is insensible. But art thou sure it is so? [6189]_res agit ille tuas_? "doth he so indeed?" It may be thou art over-suspicious, and without a cause as some are: if it be _octimestris partus_, born at eight months, or like him, and him, they fondly suspect he got it; if she speak or laugh familiarly with such or such men, then presently she is naught with them; such is thy weakness; whereas charity, or a well-disposed mind, would interpret all unto the best. St. Francis, by chance seeing a friar familiarly kissing another man's wife, was so far from misconceiving it, that he presently kneeled down and thanked God there was so much charity left: but they on the other side will ascribe nothing to natural causes, indulge nothing to familiarity, mutual society, friendship: but out of a sinister suspicion, presently lock them close, watch them, thinking by those means to prevent all such inconveniences, that's the way to help it; whereas by such tricks they do aggravate the mischief. 'Tis but in vain to watch that which will away. [6190] "Nec custodiri si velit ulla potest; Nec mentem servare potes, licet omnia serves; Omnibus exclusis, intus adulter erit." "None can be kept resisting for her part; Though body be kept close, within her heart Advoutry lurks, t'exclude it there's no art." Argus with a hundred eyes cannot keep her, _et hunc unus saepe fefellit amor_, as in [6191]Ariosto, "If all our hearts were eyes, yet sure they said We husbands of our wives should be betrayed." Hierome holds, _Uxor impudica servari non potest, pudica non debet, infida custos castitatis est necessitas_, to what end is all your custody? A dishonest woman cannot be kept, an honest woman ought not to be kept, necessity is a keeper not to be trusted. _Difficile custoditur, quod plures amant_; that which many covet, can hardly be preserved, as [6192] Salisburiensis thinks. I am of Aeneas Sylvius' mind, [6193]"Those jealous Italians do very ill to lock up their wives; for women are of such a disposition, they will most covet that which is denied most, and offend least when they have free liberty to trespass." It is in vain to lock her up if she be dishonest; _et tyrranicum imperium_, as our great Mr. Aristotle calls it, too tyrannical a task, most unfit: for when she perceives her husband observes her and suspects, _liberius peccat_, saith [6194]Nevisanus. [6195]_Toxica Zelotypo dedit uxor moecha marito_, she is exasperated, seeks by all means to vindicate herself, and will therefore offend, because she is unjustly suspected. The best course then is to let them have their own wills, give them free liberty, without any keeping. "In vain our friends from this do us dehort, For beauty will be where is most resort." If she be honest as Lucretia to Collatinus, Laodamia to Protesilaus, Penelope to her Ulysses, she will so continue her honour, good name, credit, _Penelope conjux semper Ulyssis ero_; "I shall always be Penelope the wife of Ulysses." And as Phocias' wife in [6196]Plutarch, called her husband "her wealth, treasure, world, joy, delight, orb and sphere," she will hers. The vow she made unto her good man; love, virtue, religion, zeal, are better keepers than all those locks, eunuchs, prisons; she will not be moved: [6197] "At mihi vel tellus optem prius ima dehiscat, Aut pater omnipotens adigat me fulmine ad umbras, Pallentes umbras Erebi, noctemque profundam, Ante pudor quam te violem, aut tua jura resolvam." "First I desire the earth to swallow me. Before I violate mine honesty, Or thunder from above drive me to hell, With those pale ghosts, and ugly nights to dwell." She is resolved with Dido to be chaste; though her husband be false, she will be true: and as Octavia writ to her Antony, [6198] "These walls that here do keep me out of sight, Shall keep me all unspotted unto thee, And testify that I will do thee right, I'll never stain thine house, though thou shame me." Turn her loose to all those Tarquins and Satyrs, she will not be tempted. In the time of Valence the Emperor, saith [6199]St. Austin, one Archidamus, a Consul of Antioch, offered a hundred pounds of gold to a fair young wife, and besides to set her husband free, who was then _sub gravissima custodia_, a dark prisoner, _pro unius noctis concubitu_: but the chaste matron would not accept of it. [6200]When Ode commended Theana's fine arm to his fellows, she took him up short, "Sir, 'tis not common:" she is wholly reserved to her husband. [6201]Bilia had an old man to her spouse, and his breath stunk, so that nobody could abide it abroad; "coming home one day he reprehended his wife, because she did not tell him of it: she vowed unto him, she had told him, but she thought every man's breath had been as strong as his." [6202]Tigranes and Armena his lady were invited to supper by King Cyrus: when they came home, Tigranes asked his wife, how she liked Cyrus, and what she did especially commend in him? "she swore she did not observe him; when he replied again, what then she did observe, whom she looked on? She made answer, her husband, that said he would die for her sake." Such are the properties and conditions of good women: and if she be well given, she will so carry herself; if otherwise she be naught, use all the means thou canst, she will be naught, _Non deest animus sed corruptor_, she hath so many lies, excuses, as a hare hath muses, tricks, panders, bawds, shifts, to deceive, 'tis to no purpose to keep her up, or to reclaim her by hard usage. "Fair means peradventure may do somewhat." [6203] _Obsequio vinces aptius ipse tuo._ Men and women are both in a predicament in this behalf, no sooner won, and better pacified. _Duci volunt, non cogi_: though she be as arrant a scold as Xanthippe, as cruel as Medea, as clamorous as Hecuba, as lustful as Messalina, by such means (if at all) she may be reformed. Many patient [6204]Grizels, by their obsequiousness in this kind, have reclaimed their husbands from their wandering lusts. In Nova Francia and Turkey (as Leah, Rachel, and Sarah did to Abraham and Jacob) they bring their fairest damsels to their husbands' beds; Livia seconded the lustful appetites of Augustus: Stratonice, wife to King Diotarus, did not only bring Electra, a fair maid, to her good man's bed, but brought up the children begot on her, as carefully as if they had been her own. Tertius Emilius' wife, Cornelia's mother, perceiving her husband's intemperance, _rem dissimulavit_, made much of the maid, and would take no notice of it. A new-married man, when a pickthank friend of his, to curry favour, had showed him his wife familiar in private with a young gallant, courting and dallying, &c. Tush, said he, let him do his worst, I dare trust my wife, though I dare not trust him. The best remedy then is by fair means; if that will not take place, to dissemble it as I say, or turn it off with a jest: hear Guexerra's advice in this case, _vel joco excipies, vel silentio eludes_; for if you take exceptions at everything your wife doth, Solomon's wisdom, Hercules' valour, Homer's learning, Socrates' patience, Argus' vigilance, will not serve turn. Therefore _Minus malum_, [6205]a less mischief, Nevisanus holds, _dissimulare_, to be [6206]_Cunarum emptor_, a buyer of cradles, as the proverb is, than to be too solicitous. [6207]"A good fellow, when his wife was brought to bed before her time, bought half a dozen of cradles beforehand for so many children, as if his wife should continue to bear children every two months." [6208]Pertinax the Emperor, when one told him a fiddler was too familiar with his empress, made no reckoning of it. And when that Macedonian Philip was upbraided with his wife's dishonesty, _cum tot victor regnorum ac populorum esset_, &c., a conqueror of kingdoms could not tame his wife (for she thrust him out of doors), he made a jest of it. _Sapientes portant cornua in pectore, stulti in fronte_, saith Nevisanus, wise men bear their horns in their hearts, fools on their foreheads. Eumenes, king of Pergamus, was at deadly feud with Perseus of Macedonia, insomuch that Perseus hearing of a journey he was to take to Delphos, [6209]set a company of soldiers to intercept him in his passage; they did it accordingly, and as they supposed left him stoned to death. The news of this fact was brought instantly to Pergamus; Attalus, Eumenes' brother, proclaimed himself king forthwith, took possession of the crown, and married Stratonice the queen. But by-and-by, when contrary news was brought, that King Eumenes was alive, and now coming to the city, he laid by his crown, left his wife, as a private man went to meet him, and congratulate his return. Eumenes, though he knew all particulars passed, yet dissembling the matter, kindly embraced his brother, and took his wife into his favour again, as if on such matter had been heard of or done. Jocundo, in Ariosto, found his wife in bed with a knave, both asleep, went his ways, and would not so much as wake them, much less reprove them for it. [6210]An honest fellow finding in like sort his wife had played false at tables, and borne a man too many, drew his dagger, and swore if he had not been his very friend, he would have killed him. Another hearing one had done that for him, which no man desires to be done by a deputy, followed in a rage with his sword drawn, and having overtaken him, laid adultery to his charge; the offender hotly pursued, confessed it was true; with which confession he was satisfied, and so left him, swearing that if he had denied it, he would not have put it up. How much better is it to do thus, than to macerate himself, impatiently to rave and rage, to enter an action (as Arnoldus Tilius did in the court of Toulouse, against Martin Guerre his fellow-soldier, for that he counterfeited his habit, and was too familiar with his wife), so to divulge his own shame, and to remain for ever a cuckold on record? how much better be Cornelius Tacitus than Publius Cornutus, to condemn in such cases, or take no notice of it? _Melius sic errare, quam Zelotypiae curis_, saith Erasmus, _se conficere_, better be a wittol and put it up, than to trouble himself to no purpose. And though he will not _omnibus dormire_, be an ass, as he is an ox, yet to wink at it as many do is not amiss at some times, in some cases, to some parties, if it be for his commodity, or some great man's sake, his landlord, patron, benefactor, (as Calbas the Roman saith [6211]Plutarch did by Maecenas, and Phayllus of Argos did by King Philip, when he promised him an office on that condition he might lie with his wife) and so let it pass: [6212] "pol me haud poenitet, Scilicet boni dimidium dividere cum Jove," "it never troubles me" (saith Amphitrio) "to be cornuted by Jupiter," let it not molest thee then; be friends with her; [6213] "Tu cum Alcmena uxore antiquam in gratiam Redi"------ "Receive Alcmena to your grace again;" let it, I say, make no breach of love between you. Howsoever the best way is to contemn it, which [6214]Henry II. king of F«
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